Page 116 of Chasing Gold, Catching Her

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” The sarcasm hung thick in the air, but it wasn’t entirely empty.

The song kept playing, looping into her head, feeding something restless and sharp inside her, well, it was anger, mostly, directed at herself.

She reached into the glove compartment, pulled out the anesthetic gel, and lifted her leggings to smear it over her knees again.

“Don’t overdo it,” Hermann said quietly with concern. He cared, that was obvious.

But pain… pain was part of the job, always had been.

Alisa had learned to exist inside it, like it was just another layer of reality, but sometimes it got too loud, too unbearable, and then came the pills, the gels, anything that could dull the edge enough to keep moving.

She only hoped that if she did make it to the Olympics, she’d have time to come off all of it… because doping checks, scandals, she remembered too well how athletes from Russia had been torn apart for less.

The gel spread cold across her skin, and she hissed softly at the sensation.

“Turn on the heat, please… I’m freezing.”

“Of course, baby. Anything for you.”

Hermann cranked up the heating, the seats warming under her almost immediately.

Outside, the rain intensified, drumming wildly against the windshield, syncing strangely with the music, until it turned into a full downpour and the road ahead became barely visible through the blur of water.

Alisa frowned slightly, watching it.

They were going to be late for warm-up.

Damn it.

* * *

They arrived on time, but too late for the normal warm-up, and Alisa was already behind schedule.

She rushed to the locker room, dropped her bag with her skates and other things, and hurried to the warm-up room, where everyone was already jumping over special aerobics boards they usually used for warm-ups and jump exercises.

Alisa stood off in a corner and began warming up on her own, at her own pace, then slowly joined the group exercises, catching up on the drills everyone else had already finished. Later than the others, she finally left the training room and returned to the locker room, where everyone was already getting ready, and the air was thick with the smell of hairspray, the smell Alisa had always associated with competitions. She liked tight buns for performances, like most skaters did, because then her hair wouldn’t get in the way while skating.

She changed into her costume and started brushing her hair when she suddenly felt someone hug her from behind, but she already recognized that sweet, cool perfume instantly.

Alisa turned around and hugged Anfisa back.

“Ready to shine today?” Anfisa asked with a satisfied smile, clearly at peace with herself, unlike Alisa, who felt like she’d woken up full of hatred toward the entire world, as if she had started the day on the wrong foot.

Well, maybe she had.

Alisa only shrugged pitifully, shook herself off, and bent forward so her hair fell down, gathering it into a ponytail before straightening again. Anfisa was completely ready except for her makeup. She pulled her makeup bag closer and they sat across from each other on a bench.

“Want eyeliner?” Anfisa asked, and Alisa nodded.

“Combat makeup, huh? Okay, I get it… then let’s do it, panther.”

Alisa closed her eyes and waited while Anfisa drew sharp eyeliner across her lids, which only took a few seconds. Alisa never really liked makeup, but for competitions someone always did it for her anyway, so she never worried about it much. There was always someone around who understood it better than she did.

Then Anfisa added a soft blush to her cheeks and carefully colored her lips in a deeper shade. The makeup came out fierce, almost aggressive, which perfectly suited the short program Alisa had been skating for the last couple of weeks.

After waiting for Anfisa to finish her own makeup, they headed toward the arena, where they would perform together in the first group. Other athletes were already sitting in the stands, and even the hockey players had shown up, Hermann apparently dragging the entire team with him.

Anfisa’s expression changed immediately, her smile collapsing into a frown.