Page 113 of The Search

“Call them.”

“Not yet. Not until I’m sure it’s necessary. Not until I’m certain we can’t stop him. Trust me. I’ll act if I have to.”

“How many people do you have in that installation?”

“Fifty-seven.”

“And do they know what danger they’re in?”

“Yes. I told the head of the project to tell everyone what happened at Santo Camaro and that they might be next. I gave them the option of staying or leaving. Six left. The rest stayed.”

“You should shut down the facility.”

“Rudzak would just change his target.” He stood up. “If you want ATF called, do it yourself.”

“I will.”

“But be sure you’re ready to accept the responsibility of another Kai Chi.”

She could feel the blood drain from her face. “Kai Chi?”

“That was Rudzak. A tribute to Chen Li. Do you want another Kai Chi or do you want a chance to catch the bastard?”

“Kai Chi.” She stared at him in horror. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you’d look at me as you’re doing now and run to the opposite end of the earth. You don’t understand anyone who would kill five hundred people to make a sick statement.”

“Do you?”

“No, but I’m part of the problem, and every time you look at me, you’ll see Kai Chi.”

“Please, call ATF,” she whispered. “You saw the baby who died in Taiwan. It’s nothing compared to what a bomb did to the children in Oklahoma.”

He was silent for a moment, a multitude of emotions crossing his face. Then he shook his head. “I’ll give you anything else in the whole world, but I can’t give you this, Sarah. I have to have a chance of catching him.”

“It’s wrong, Logan.”

“Then make the call. No one’s stopping you.” He started into the house. “But think long and hard about it. And remember Kai Chi. It could happen again.”

No one was stopping her? The hell no one was stopping her.

Oklahoma City. Oh, God, she couldn’t stand to be responsible for another disaster like that.

Kai Chi.

If Logan was right, could she bear being responsible for the death of even more people than those at Dodsworth?

She had to have an answer and soon.

Monty whimpered and put his head on her knee.

“It’s okay.” She stroked his head. “Go on back to Maggie.”

He didn’t move. He was there giving her comfort and companionship as Logan had done the night before. But in the morning Logan had offered nothing except loneliness and despair.

Sarah tried to ignore the pain. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. She had told him she expected nothing but sexual pleasure. It was too bad she had let him slip beneath her defenses. But it would be okay. She had been alone most of her life and she had made out fine.

He asked her to trust him. Could she? Because of the way she felt about him, or because she truly believed the risk was worthwhile? She had always thought for herself, but she had never been as emotionally involved as she was with Logan.