Page 14 of A Highlander for the English Widow

“It’s an honor tae welcome me intae yer home,” she said.

Logan nodded and then turned his attention back to Amanda. “I just heard from Deirdre that our wee friend is awake. Would ye like tae gae and see her?”

“Let’s!” Amanda said with excitement.

Logan held the door open for her and Ann, although Ann showed deference for Amanda and Logan by remaining a few steps away.

“I hope she is not too scared.”

“I’m sure she will nae be. Deirdre haes seen tae it that she will receive some breakfast. I just hope that she feels more comfortable with talking. We’re never gaeing tae find out what happened tae her if she will nae tell us.”

Amanda knew that he spoke the truth, but she wasn’t sure how they were going to get the girl to talk if she wasn’t willing to. She hoped that the connection she had formed with the girl would be enough.

They went to Deirdre’s chamber and were greeted by the healer.

“I dinnae think she’s in pain any longer. She seems well and is over the shock. I hae stopped the bleeding, although she will hae a scar. She haes nae spoken yet, though. I’m hoping she is saving that for ye,” Deirdre said.

Amanda was dismayed to learn that the child would suffer a scar. It meant that she would never be allowed to forget this horrible thing that had happened to her. She glanced at Logan before they stepped into the room, and then she entered, hoping that they would finally learn something of value, something that would lead them on the path to finding the person who was responsible for this.

And, if nothing else, she hoped that she would learn the girl’s name.

10

Logan had spent the night twisting and turning in his bed, unable to get any good sleep. In truth, a healthy night’s sleep often eluded him. Back when his wife and child had died, he had not been able to sleep for days. They visited him in his nightmares, ghastly visions of guilt and shame that made his heart cry out in terror. For a time they had abated, but now that his father was ill and he had met Amanda, they had begun again. It was as though he should not be happy. What right did he have to move on with his life when his wife passed on to the other realm? What right did he have when he could do nothing to save them? He knew people would say he could not keep punishing himself for this and that it wasn’t fair to himself, but surely someone had to be punished, and if not him, then who?

And Amanda…oh, the wise and fair Amanda with her sweet smile and her longing looks and the certain way she had of looking at him. In another life, it would have been easy enough to fall in love with her. It helped that she had an affinity for the Highlands. He could almost forget that she was English. But after all she had been through… She had already had a wretched husband. The last thing she needed was another man who had caused harm to his wife.

No, it was better to deal with this child and then have things go back to normal. Perhaps he and Amanda could remain friends and see each other on occasion around the village. There were so few people he could confide in. An element of shame filled his heart as he remembered all the things he had shared with Amanda. He had opened up his vulnerabilities to her in a way that he never had before. Even with his own wife, he had tried to protect her from his fears. But with Amanda it was so easy to speak with her. She had an enchanting way about her, a way to make him feel safe. It was no wonder their little friend had latched on to her.

Speaking of their little friend, Logan awoke early and went to see Deirdre.

“How is the lass?” he asked.

Deirdre didn’t sleep much either.

“She’s well. I can hear her stirring. Ye should gae and fetch Amanda and perhaps we can begin tae understand what is happening here,” Deirdre said.

Logan nodded, but before he turned away, he had something he wanted to ask her.

“Deirdre, is there really naything ye can dae for my da?” he asked with the desperation of a man who wanted to save the ones he loved.

Deirdre had a grave look on her face. She reached out and squeezed Logan’s hand with the tenderness of a mother.

“I’m afraid nae, Logan. And I dinnae like how we are haeing this same conversation again. We simply hae tae let it run its course and hope that yer da can fight it. There are few stronger men than him. If anyone can fight this illness, then it’s him.”

Logan pursed his lips and sighed. “Ye said the same thing about Moira,” he said.

Deirdre looked away. “I know, Logan…” she said. “I did all I could for her. Sometimes in life, these things just happen and there’s naything we can dae about it.”

“But there must be more!” he cried, looking at his own hands. “All of this power, all of this wisdom, and yet still people die.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. I hae seen sae many people slip away, and there was naything I can dae tae help them. I am a healer, yet many times I am unable tae find a way tae save them.”

“How dae ye live with yerself, Deirdre? How dae ye make it through the day?”

Deirdre shrugged. The woman was brash and often had no qualms with speaking her mind. Logan had rarely known her to be tender; it was a side she only showed when she was with patients who needed it. But in this moment she walked up to Logan and placed a hand on his back and spoke in a soft whisper.

“I try and focus on the people I can help. I remember that there are plenty of people in this world who dae need healing, and I try and make sure I get around tae as many of them as possible. It’s easy tae focus on the things we cannae dae in this life, Logan, but there are still plenty of things we can dae. Maybe ye should try looking for those as well. Ye hae spent tae long living in the past.”