Page 54 of Hexed & Hazy

“Gods.” Scarlet lets out a bitter laugh. “That would be the easy answer, wouldn’t it? But no, I didn’t fucking hex him. Maybe I should. Add to the pile. Hex on top of hex. Kind of sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

Can I really trust her? She says she didn’t hex me, but her hatred—it’s more than David’s annoyance. It’s more than whatever the hell is going on with Victoria. I know how Scarlet is, and she’s hurt.

I get it. I was hurting for a long time, too.

“We’re leaving,” I say. “If you—if you ever want to talk about this… about us⁠—”

“You never gave a fuck about talking.” Finally, she addresses me directly, and her voice breaks. “You always used your poor fucking mother as a shield. How would she feel about that?”

I wince. “Don’t.”

My family has always been off-limits, and Scarlet knows it, respected it… up until our last conversation, when she told me how she really felt. Neglected. Unimportant. Like she gave me years, and I couldn’t even give her a minute. She knows better than to bring my mom up now, but I crossed her boundaries by calling her and coming here, and it seems like she’s doing the same.

She pushes closer, her fingernail—painted in chipped black polish—pushes into the center of my chest. “I loved you, you fuck. Why would I ever want to hurt you like that?”

Rowan takes a step away and ducks her head.

“I know,” I whisper hoarsely. “I’m sorry.”

It’s not the first time I’ve said those words to her.

If there’s one person from my past I could have loved, it would have been her. And I know she would still love me too, but that time has passed. It passed again and again, every time we went from friends to more, until I finally had to call it off.

She turns away, and I still know her well enough to know that she’s crying. “Fucking leave.”

Even though Rowan looks unsure, we do.

“Do you think it was her?” Rowan asks. “She seems really upset with you.”

“No. She wouldn’t. We shouldn’t have come here.”

I should have known Scarlet better, should have given her more credit. When it comes to the people she cares about, she’s all bark and no bite—something most people wouldn’t guess about her. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. But all of her bitterness bubbles up in me now as if it belongs to me, and maybe that’s a curse all on its own.

When I slide into Rowan’s car, I close my eyes.

Breathe… breathe…

“Seth,” she says. “I didn’t know you and Scarlet were serious.”

“We were. On and off for years. The closest I ever had to a relationship.”

“And what happened?”

“Mom got sick, and I… well, Scarlet was patient at first—as patient as she’s ever been—but I was a bad boyfriend. Stopped answering her calls. Stopped letting her in, or at least that’s what she said.”

As much as I messed up, I was trying. I didn’t realize how bad it was until it was too late.

I continue. “It became easier to… move on, I guess. But I still had my distractions.”

Everyone I dated after Scarlet was a distraction. It was impossible to see until now, with my past haunting me and Rowan lecturing me. I wasn’t looking for love. But was I really having fun, or was I losing myself? Parties. Sex. Anything that kept me out late.

It’s all gone, and now I’m left with just… me. And it isn’t enough.

“Why?” she asks. “You weren’t always like this. I remember.”

“Because I can’t take it, Ro.” My eyes fly open, and everything—all the things I’ve been hiding, been running from—flows out. “I’m already losing the person I care about most. My sisters are gone, and I doubt they’re coming back to Starbrook after they graduate. It’s just Mom and me. Your mom—close enough that she was practically family—she’s gone. I can’t keep signing up for more people to leave me. More people to lose.”

“So, you did it yourself? Pushed everyone away?”