Page 43 of She Autumn Be Mine

“I’ll tell you, but you have to tell me first about Cash. He’s not as sexy as Jake, but…”

“That’s debatable.”

Later, with Nanette’s snores keeping me awake, I lay in the dark tracing my finger over Jake’s ring. I thought about what would come after tomorrow’s first kiss. I fell asleep smiling, which had to count as its own kind of first.

THIRTEEN

Wedded

Autumn

My wedding dress was simple. Nothing flashy. Floor-length, thin straps, a silky cut with no lace or any other adornments, and it fit my body like a glove—not quite white, not quite ivory. Exactly what I would have picked for myself in a world where I got to pick things instead of borrowing something from Ivy.

All dressed at last, the women in the cabin stared at me and got misty-eyed.

“Don’t make me cry.” I dabbed my eyes with one hand and fanned myself with the other.

“You, stunning bride, are going to make Jake never forget this day,” Ivy breathed. She’d insisted on completing my look with white cowgirl boots, and had a cream felt cowboy hat for me to wear during the reception, all compliments of her Wylde West Outfitters shop in town.

Nanette still fussed around me with my hair and makeup. Jamie made sure I ate some fruit and stayed hydrated.

Dot took care of all the old, new, borrowed, and blue. Nobody ever taught me the rhyme—my mother wasn’t that kind of mother. Dot covered all of it without being asked, as easy as setting her table for a dinner with unexpected guests.

Old being the engagement ring. New being a shiny silver dollar tucked into my bouquet. The borrowed item was a small satin purse, with beadwork sewn on it from her own wedding, that dangled from my wrist. And my something blue was a thread from Stetson’s favorite baby blanket, sewn quickly into the hem of my dress.

I had to turn away before anyone saw my face, and take deep breaths. That was the thing about the McCalls I tried wrapping my head around. They loved like it cost nothing and expected nothing in return.

Drunk with his newfound walking legs, Stetson paraded about the cabin in his tiny tux and buckaroo hat with the rings tied to the brim on ribbon.

“Rings on the hat? Whose idea?” Nanette asked.

“Jake’s,” I answered.

Everyone in the room made the same aww sound at once, and I concentrated very hard on breathing.

A week ago I’d have stood in this cabin, telling myself the marriage was all for the court case. I couldn’t even pretend that anymore. Somewhere between a goat farm and a pulled-over truck and a knuckle kissed over an engagement ring, this had quit being a strategy, and turned into a marriage.

I was marrying Jake McCall today because I wanted to. In many ways, the wanting scared me more than the Eatons did. I let it scare me. Baby steps.

“Hey.” Nanette found my eyes in the mirror, steadying the veil on my head. “Whatever you’re doing in there, stop it.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“I know you and your overthinking ways.” She pinned the veil, and planted her hands on my shoulders. “It’s your wedding day, honey. Just this once, let the good things happen to you.”

I cast the best, most reassuring smile I could muster.

When I walked down the aisle I was on nobody’s arm. My choice, the only part of the day I’d insisted on, and not one soul had argued with me. I was too old for someone to give me away. Without any father ever there for me, and Trig sitting in a cell, I held my chin high and walked myself.

The funny thing was, I’d walked alone my whole life. Out of Wyoming in the dark. Into this town knowing nobody. Up the stairs to a tiny apartment above a coffee shop with a baby on my hip. Alone was the only way I knew how to walk.

But this was different. This time, alone was a choice—and every step took me toward someone. That made all the difference in the world.

Straight up the aisle I marched, eyes focused solely ahead at my handsome groom, and by his side, standing with his tiny hand in his, was my son.

Everything became a blur from that point on. I hardly noticed the silk floral arrangements covering the rough wood arch. Or the number of people in attendance. The bright hues of orange and green and gold decorating everything in our pumpkin patch wedding, or the pretty dresses Nanette and Jamie wore as our maids of honor.

But I’d never forget my two handsome men standing there in matching black tuxes. Jake beamed ear to ear, his eyes watering, raking down my body and back up.