Page 73 of Xavier

He pulls away for a breath, and in that moment, my brain tells me. Stop.

He leans in again and I push hard against his chest.

"I can't. Xavier, we can't do this!" I gasp.

He stops, but doesn’t take his hands off me. “Why? Tell me why and I’ll stop right now. But you have to tell me why.”

“I don’t know! I don’t know why!” I cry. Because I don’t want to stop. Something just tells me it’s better this way.

He lifts a hand to my cheek, cupping it, dragging his thumb over the single tear that falls.

"I love you. I promise you, I've never, ever slept with anyone but you, Malynda. You're the only one I've ever wanted. Ever. Do you really think that us being together could be wrong?"

I feel my knees buckle, a physical manifestation of my resolve wavering. I can't say no, to him. He's the only one I've ever wanted as well.

"Xavier."

"Yes?"

"I've never… I never slept with anyone else either"

He frowns. It's fleeting but I see it and his hand falls away from my cheek.

"I don't believe you."

"It's true."

"Like Cameron would hang around if you weren’t having sex with him."

"Cameron and I are NOT together. So it would be strange if I was sleeping with him."

Xavier’s head shakes, as if he doesn’t believe what he’s hearing. "But he... you said he was your partner."

"He’s my business partner. We’re not together." I repeat. I don’t know why it’s so important for him to know this, but I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I have never been with any man but him.

He takes a step back, still shaking his head. "No. Don't lie to me, Malynda. Just don't."

"I'm not, Xavier. I've never wanted anyone but you."

He looks at me, his pupils round and dilated, I can almost see the thoughts swirling in his mind.

"Fuck this, I’ve missed you so much."

In one movement, he sweeps an arm under my legs, my hand automatically coming up to loop around his neck, my mouth on his. I feel like air in his arms as he walks over to the bed and gently lays me down.

For just a moment, he looks down at me, his head haloed by the sun streaming through the windows.

"I have missed you every single day," he says, the words catching on his throat.

"I know," I say, running my fingertips down his bare chest. And he leans down, burying his face in my neck. I wrap my arms around him, holding him. Ignoring everything that tells me it's wrong.

"Make love to me, Xavier," I beg against his ear. "Please."

He doesn't say anything, his lips wet and warm against my neck as he moves his body on top of mine, guiding my legs apart.

I feel his hands tugging at the seam of my dress and I move my hips, helping him pull it over my head. I reach behind me and unhook my bra, and he pulls it away. For the first time in over a decade, I'm almost naked in front of a man. The only man who's ever seen me naked. I bite my tongue, my hands coming up to cover my breasts.

"No. Don't," he says, gently brushing my hands away.