Page 24 of Xavier

"Well, you've already done that."

I just shrug. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

"Don’t give me that, you know what you’re going to do,” he responds to my silent answer.

I laugh into my glass. He wouldn't be Kaine if he didn't know me so well.

"Don't be stupid,” he continues. “You don't know what happened to her before and what's brought her here. Give her some time and space. She's probably as freaked out as you are, but she’s not going anywhere."

I watch my reflection shake its head.

"I believed that once before. And she did. She disappeared off the face of the fucking earth, man! I don’t want to give her time or fucking space! That's all she's had for... for... FUCK! I want here her. Right now! Telling me what the hell happened!" The recliner screeches against the floor as it’s pushed back when I jump to my feet, a white-hot rage suddenly rushing through me. Before I can stop myself, my scotch glass flies across the room, smashing against the window. We watching the crystal shatter and fall onto the floor in a pile of glittering shards. “Fuck,” I say again, dropping back down into the chair, head in my hands.

"Xavier," Kaine says, I think, but I can barely hear him. My mind already rushing back to the past. "Xavier," he says again. But I'm already lost to my memories.

***

12 years ago

On a perfect late spring day in Maine, you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world.

The sun dissolves the clouds that crowd the sky during most of April and May, and the sky hovers like a pristine royal blue canvas over our heads. The rivers and lakes come alive with the awakening of nature around it, refreshed from the deep winter sleep.

There is a scent of hope in the air.

Like today. Today was a perfect late spring day in Maine.

With her.

It's early evening by the time I'm walking home after spending the afternoon after school with Malynda. I’d gone to the basketball courts, not knowing if I’d see her, but there she was, already working on the mural when I showed up.

"Want to see?" she'd asked, after about two hours, coming over to sit by me.

"No. I'll see it when it's done."

"Might be awhile. I don't know if it will ever be done."

"That's okay. I'll keep coming here with you until it is," I’d told her, a promise to myself as much as to her.

She’d given me a hug as we’d separated at Main Street. As always, she’d gone toward the manicured lawns of the west of the city, and me back to my own crowded house, but not before watching her walk away. Until her thin figure was so small, even my squints couldn’t bring her back into focus.

She’d hugged me.

Like I said; a perfect day.

I can hear the chaos three houses away before I get home. The door creaks on the hinge as I open it, trying to sneak in without being noticed.

"Xavier! Where have you been?!" my mother yells, barely two seconds after I've entered the kitchen.

I look around, the twins are sitting at the table with their crayons and butcher paper. Brian is lying on the floor in front of the TV.

"I was, er, studying at the library, Mom. Why?"

"I just got called in for an extra shift. I need you to watch the kids." She rushes around, grabbing her bag and the cardigan hanging off the back of the chair.

"But-..."

"Please, Xavier. I'm already late. I didn't have credit on my phone to call you."