Page 73 of Rock Me

"Chris..."

He backs off a little, looking worried. "Oh, too fast? Sorry. Okay, we'll take it as slow as you need. I don’t care. I'm just glad I can come and see you now, now that you kinda remember. We can start making plans! We can rebook the trip to see your mom, since she's not coming out here. We can go somewhere for my birthday in a few weeks, as well. I'm going to take you to the new sushi place that's just opened up!"

He jumps up, reeling things off, counting on his fingers. He really does look so happy.

I think... I think it's because of me. Me. I made him happy. How could my brain forget something like this? Someone attached to me like this?

I'm broken. I really am.

He turns to smile at me, and nothing moves inside me.

Give it time, my mind tells me. Give me time to heal. Don't be too rash and give up something that could mean so much to you... just because you don't remember them.

But my heart, my hearts tell me, give it all up, for someone else I don't remember from my past, but who means everything to me now, in the present.

***

Chris leaves about half an hour later.

It can’t have been soon enough. My head was pounding but he seemed so happy that I didn't have the heart to ask him to leave. I fell asleep pretty much as soon as he left, my dreams filled with all the things he'd told me. What we'd done together, things we'd planned for the future.

It sounds like we were happy.

I can't imagine what it must be like for him, to wake up one day and have his girlfriend, me, be gone.

I didn't recognize him at all, the first time he came to visit me at the hospital, he says. And I'd been quite distressed. So, he'd stayed away, given me time to heal. But he couldn't wait any longer, he'd said. Now he is back. For me.

And I still don't remember him.

"Knock, knock," Paige says, not knocking actually and walking straight in. "Who's the heartbreaker sitting outside?"

"That's Mike, my bodyguard. I told you about him." I wave to him and he sits back down on his chair. I'd called her after the incident at the elevator. I thought she was going to explode with both excitement and anger. She loves a good celeb sighting, but she was pretty mad that I'd been in some sort of danger.

"Do you think he's single?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Because I'm a little scared of him. Scared and turned on. Which, as you know, is the best combination."

I shake my head but can't help smiling. To be honest, I'm happy to see her. I'm still shaken up from the day's events; the paparazzi crazies and then finding out I’m dating Chris. Jez hasn't even been by, and I'm sure he has a reason, but it'd be good to get to ask him a few questions about what happened, and to make sure he’s okay as well.

"What are these?" Paige says, pointing to the flowers Chris brought.

"Um, flowers."

"Yeah, I can see that, where are they from?"

"Chris. My boyfriend," I say, matter-of-factly. To see how she reacts.

Paige stops fussing with her bags and turns slowly toward me. I can't read anything from her expression. And it's like she's waiting, in turn, to see how I react.

"I have a boyfriend. Chris. You know Chris."

She takes a long breath and comes to sit by me on the couch.

"I do know Chris," she nods.

"And do you know he's my boyfriend?" And I can't help but silently beg that she says no. It would make it all easier to deal with.