Page 46 of Rock Me

The tears stop and my emotions come out in sound. My fingers bring me around to a building chorus, a loop. And somewhere, out of nowhere, my voice joins in.

I sing.

I play and sing.

And I make it alright that I'm feeling the way that I am.

For the first time in the longest time, I feel like I know who I am. I'm not my memories. I'm not my forgetfulness. I'm just how I feel, dictated by nobody or nothing but what is inside me in this very moment.

Then, just like that it’s all over. I drop my arm down by my side and the ukulele slides from my fingertips.

I stand, like a statement to the empty room. I am here. Breathless and all.

The blood in my ears pound, and it's a comforting sound. A dull thudding, to contrast against the frenetic chords of my song. I take a long, deep breath and tell my heart to calm.

"You are astounding."

A voice calls to me from the door behind me; I spin around and he is there. He looks just like I remembered. Not from the other day, but from the portraits of him that I drew in my brain.

Every line, perfect. Like a god come to life.

He steps toward me and I surprise myself when I don't step back.

"Hi," he says, but he doesn't hold out his hand. We've done that all before, maybe.

"I'm Jez,” he says. And his voice is beautiful.

And I say the only thing I can think of.

"I remember."