Page 32 of Rock Me

I do. Just to because I thinks he think I won’t. I do it out of spite. And then hiss from the pain.

"Is that what you want? See me in pain?"

"If that's what helps you through it, then you can think what you want." He shrugs.

"Go to hell." I say, and grab one of the elastic bands and fling it toward the window and storm back to my room.

"See you tomorrow, Jez," he calls after me.

“See you in hell,” I mutter under my breath.

"No visitors, Toni!" I yell across the hall to the nurses' station when I get back to my floor and pull the door shut behind me, wincing from the pain in my elbow. I settle in my bed, cradling my wrist against my stomach. Laying back, feeling the dull thump thump of my pulse in my arm, sore after an hour of exercises.

The door slides open and Toni comes in.

"They're not going to like it, honey."

"Mister Petrescu," I correct her, knowing just how much of a douche I sound.

Her eyebrows shoot up, but she looks amused instead of offended.

"Fine, His Royal Petrescu. But let me tell you this, this attitude of yours isn't going to get you anywhere but your own personal hell. And you are going to see those friends of yours, because they have come every single bloody day that you've been in here, even when you didn't know they were. And while I get paid to deal with your ass, they do it out of love. And you don't know how lucky you are to have that."

I know she's right.

But it doesn’t change anything.

"You don’t know what I’ve bee-..."

"Oh yes, I do,” she practically yells at me, her hands on her hips, and I know the rest of the lecture is coming. “Whatever you think is so unique about your situation, I've seen it, hell, I've lived it. So, suck it up, maybe spending a little less time feeling sorry for yourself and more time working on your exercise, cos that’s what’s gonna save you."

She huffs and shoves me forward while she fluffs my pillows, mumbling under her breath and then pushes me back against them. I bite back a smile. The first I’ve had all day.

She’s right. Of course she is.

"Please. Just... give me one more day. Okay? I'll see them tomorrow, but I just need one more day."

"Fine. I'll tell 'em, Mister Petrescu. I’ll tell them to come back tomorrow."

She grabs a dirty cup from my table and steps towards the door, pulling it closed behind her, shutting me in with my thoughts.

The afternoon visitor rush comes and goes and I watch night-time descend as the sky turn dark outside my window.

And I wait.

But again, there’s no music.

Fuck this. I get up and poke my head out the door.

"Robbie," I whisper, gesturing to the night nurse and he comes jogging over. "Can I grab a pen and a piece of paper?"

He nods and brings it to me in my room.

I try to grip the pen in my right hand, and it feels awkward and stiff, but not painful. My index finger pushes too hard against the pen and it slips out of my hand and onto the floor.

"Flying sack of steaming hot fucking woolly mammoth shit!!!"

Robbie's head pokes in through the open door.