Page 129 of Rock Me

I can't even do this. He was right to leave. To leave me. I can't even fucking drive.

I take my foot off the pedal and rest my head back against the head rest, exhausted.

"Are you happy now? Did you get what you came here for?"

He turns to me, still smiling.

"Yes, yes I did." He reaches a hand towards me, and his fingertips touch my face before I can pull away.

I slap his hand away, hard, my fingers stinging as they make contact.

"You son of a bitch. You are sick! I can't believe I agreed to this."

I pull on the door handle and drag myself out of the car, making a run towards the house where Paige is standing.

Waiting for me.

I should've listened to her,

"Noémie!" Jez yells, jumping out of the car and running after me. "Wait!"

"No!" I spin around, my hair whipping myself on the face. But I welcome the pain. Anything to distract from the ache I'm feeling inside. I shake my head, staring at him. I can't believe he would do this to me. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I hit you with a car! I’d say it a thousand times to you, Jez, if I thought it would give either of us any peace. I’m sorry! I am! I'm never going to forgive myself for what happened! But it was an accident. I would never have done anything to hurt you on purpose. Never! But I guess you can't say the same. So, fuck. You. I don't deserve your sick and fucked up punishment."

The tears are hot and heavy as they stream, never-ending, down my face.

They drip over my lips as I speak, salt in the wounds, as they say.

When I'm done, I pivot back to the house, but his hand is in mine again. Pulling me back to him, and into his arms.

Why won't he just let me go?

"Shhhh, baby. Shhh.” He rasps against my hair as I let him hold me. Because I can’t walk away. “Noémie. I know. I know you would never hurt me on purpose. And I can't believe you would think I would hurt you."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I'm here, to show you... that you didn't hurt me. Ever."

I pull back, looking into his face, looking for clues as to what he’s saying.

"You didn't hurt me," he repeats, his fingertips are cool as they run down my cheek, brushing my tears away. Then he turns and faces the house.

"Did she, Paige?"

Paige just stands there, looking back at him, before she shrugs. "I'm sure she didn't mean to. Like she said, it was an accident."

"Oh, I do believe it was an accident. But it wasn’t Noémie's, was it?"

What is he talking about? My mind is so foggy, I can't understand what he's saying.

He turns back to me, and his eyes are soft, warm, genuine. Like they always were. And they're trying to tell me something. But I just don't understand.

"What are you trying to say, Jez? I... I don't understand."

He gives me a gentle smile and cups my cheek in his hand. The touch, so intimate, makes the tears well up in my eyes again. And I bite back a sob.

"You tell her, or I will," he says, his eyes on me.

"Tell her what?" I ask, even more confused now.