Page 103 of Rock Me

"No, not 'you're stupid,' though that last comment wasn't so smart. I meant, you thinking people only want to listen to your music and not what you've got to say, is stupid."

"It's a little bit true."

"I think you're underestimating people."

"Hmmm, I don't like this conversation. I’m not coming off too great."

"You started it,” she finishes, knowing I’m not going to argue since it’s clear I’m in the wrong.

I scrunch up my face which seems to trigger something in my brain and I get an idea. A fucking brilliant idea.

"Then I'm ending the conversation." I jump out of bed and throw the robe at the end of the bed to her. "Let's go!"

"Where?" She sits up, rubbing her eyes.

"Somewhere neither of us have gone!"

"Balls," she mutters under her breath as she drags herself out of bed, and I have to restrain myself from dragging her back to it. “I was just getting comfortable.”

"Then you’re going to hate this. Now, come on! And trust me, you're going to want to brush your hair for this."

"Ba. Double balls.”

"That's how they usually come.”

***

"No. Absolutely fucking not in a million years of pigs flying through a frozen hell filled with snowballs. No."

"Noémie, you said to pick something neither of us have done."

Her eyes shift from side to side, trying to think of an argument, and coming up empty.

"Well, this seems a little more like something I've never done and you watching."

"Well, technically, it's true. I've never watched you do this. Totally fits.”

She sighs and puts her hand on my shoulder, "Ok, so listen super carefully, okay?"

"I'm listening, baby,” I say, leaning for a kiss.

She lets me kiss her and rolls her eyes before yelling, quite emphatically, "For the last time, NO!"

"You're cute. Even with your clothes on. You ready?" I hand her her ukulele. "You might want to check the tuning. That thing runs sharp."

"Die,” she hisses, taking her ukulele in hand.

"Not yet, maybe after this,” I chuckle. My cheeriness is annoying her. Which is, in turn, amusing me considerably.

"I don't think you're hearing me, Jez.”

"Actually, my hearing was the one thing that wasn't affected at all. You can do this. I heard you play Bumblebee on that thing, so I know you can do anything. Which, by the way… insane. But we'll talk about that later."

"JEZ! I can't do this! I'm not..." She stops, mid-sentence.

"What? Good enough? I say double balls to that and you know it."

"Why? Why did you do this?"