Page 98 of Serenade Me

He’s right. I have no fear here. Why aren’t I afraid to play with him?

Because he trained you that way, Anca! Don’t listen to him. The voice tickles at the edge of my brain.

I shake my head. Leave me alone.

No. This time the voice is Marius. I’m not leaving you, Anca. In the darkness I can see him, his eyes, his hands reaching out to me. Don’t listen to him, Anca. You are a star. Wherever you are, whoever you’re with, whatever you play. Remember the joy. Remember the fun. Remember the cheers, the love. For you.

Go away, Marius. Please. Just leave me here. I’m not good enough for you, for anyone, I beg him, but he just stands there, smiling, holding his hand out to me.

Why won’t he just go?

“Anca. Play!” The Maestro’s voice cuts through the fog in my head.

No. Tell him no. Do it, Anca…you can do it. It’s my voice now, not Marius, but mine. Mine. Telling me I can do this.

“N-n-no.” I stammer, fighting for every syllable.

“What did you say?” The Maestro’s voice booms in the dark.

“I sa-, I said, no. No!”

“I’ve asked so nicely, though, Anca… but it won’t always be this way. My patience has limits.” His voice, once so cajoling is suddenly hard, and then I feel it. The point. The cold, hard point of steel right there against the back of my neck.

No, no, not now. Not now that I’ve finally regained my sense of self. I can’t go this way.

But I know how crazy he can be, he had to be, to even get me here in the first place. Who knows what he’s capable of now… now that he’s heard me say no.

But I’d rather be dead than under his control for another moment longer.

“Maestro…”

“Yes, my dear, are you ready?” He asks, twisting his wrist, pressing the point deeper against my neck.

I bite my tongue to keep from screaming. “I’m… ready… I just have one request.”

“Anything for you, my angel. Anything for you.”

And I take one long breath, as if it will be my last.