Page 2 of Serenade Me

Chapter One

Marius

“Ohhhhhmmmmm. Ohhhmmmm. Feel the air pass through every portal of your body, collecting the toxins and negativity, and then slowly release them in a long slow exhale. Ohhhmmm.”

“Ohhhhm. Ohhhmmmm,” I chant along with the recording, taking a long deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs and then slowly breathe out.

In the back of my mind I hear the sound of footsteps, but I ignore them, trying to concentrate on my morning meditation.

“Ooogey boogey woogeeey,” speaks up a familiar, decidedly non-meditative voice. “Feel the rotten egg smell pass through me and into Marius’ nostrils.”

My serenity vanishes in a second and I snap my eyes open, only to see two perfectly round, bright blue pupils, barely two inches from my face.

“AHHHHHH!” I scream, jumping to my feet and taking five steps back, tripping over the coffee table and ending up in an awkward somersault, head over heels, crashing against the base of one of the leather recliners.

“Bloody Titbiscuit!!!” I yell at Jez, my band mate, glaring at him as I rub the back of my neck.

“’Titbiscuit’?!” Sebastian, our band’s other cellist, repeats. It sounds even more ridiculous in his French accent. “That’s a new one, any other pastry themed nicknames you want to teach me before Cadence leaves? “Honey” and “Sweetie” are getting old.”

“Honeysweetums, I call you other things as well,” Cadey, his fiancée, clarifies while winking at him.

“Yes, but nothing the boys can hear, Sugarcakes,” Seb gushes, returning the wink and reaching out his hand to her.

“Well, we hear you calling her ‘the ol’ ball and chain’ all the time,” Brad, our violinist, contributes, returning Seb’s glare with a wide, innocent smile.

“Oh, you do, do you?” Cadey turns to her fiancé who starts to squirm in his seat. “Let me tell you then, there won’t be any sort of ball action going on tonight, my love.”

“Thanks, fuckers! She’s leaving in a few days, too.” He throws his fiancée a pitiful look and she only grins in reply before straddling him and giving him a deep kiss.

“Ugh, guys. Gross.” I scrunch up my face at their public display of affection. “Some of us are still digesting our lunch, you know.”

“Your body’s not digesting that vegan not-dog you had, it’s trying to propel it from your stomach,” Brad says, chewing on a stick of beef jerky, then opening his mouth to display the masticated contents to me.

“Hey, my body’s a temple,” I tell him, pulling my sleeve up and flexing my bicep.

“That’s where you’re going wrong, what you want is for your body to be a liquor store. Six-packs galore, baby.” Jez pulls his t-shirt up and pats his bare stomach. I have to admit, his symmetrical lines of rippling muscles look good. I wonder, not for the first time, where all the beer and chicken wings he inhales goes. Even cutting meat out of my diet, I have to work twice as hard to keep myself in shape.

I grab the remote and shut off the meditation YouTube video still playing on the TV.

“Hey,” I say to Brad, trying to get his attention. I roll my eyes and gesture to the loved-up scene on the couch, Cadence in Sebastian’s lap and their foreheads pressed against each other’s.

“What?” Brad asks, his mouth still full of cured meatstick.

I frown at his response. I’d expected him to make a loud gagging noise, but then I remember. “Oh, yeah, I forgot, you’re one of THEM now,” referring to his recent engagement to his high school sweetheart, Emily.

Brad grins and shrugs. “What can I say, when it’s love, it’s love.” He comes over and nudges my shoulder. “Or in your case, ‘love-love’ as in big ol’ noughts when it comes to wins against women. I mean, have you ever even had a relationship that lasted longer than a plane ride?”

I elbow him back and he squeals in mock pain. “Hey! I’m looking for spiritual connections, okay? It’s not just about bra-size and skirt length for me, like for you manslutsticles”

“I’m pretty sure Jez is the only “Slutsticle” around here these days.” Sebastian grins at his fellow cellist bandmate who bows at the accolade.

“Someone’s gotta do your dirty work, boys. You think our fans like that you two are strapped into chastity belts now? Gotta take care of the fans that got us here.”

“Speaking of chastity belts. Hey, Cadence…?”

“Whoa, flattering segue. Thanks, Marius,” Cadence snorts.

I wink at her and she rolls her eyes before I continue. “Cadence, are you really going to leave us in the lurch?”