Page 104 of Strum Me

“Why I want you to come work for me, because you know me.”

“Not this again.”

“Yes, exactly this again.”

“Come work for you? I despise you. Now more than ever.”

“That won’t stop you from doing your job. See, I know you. Come, come work for me and my band. Write about us, get us in the papers, on the news, in front of people’s faces.”

“I have a job.”

“Quit. Today. I’ll pay you twice what they’re paying. Can you really afford to say no?”

“You’re sick.”

“Fine. Forget the money as a reason. Why don’t you think about this—you come work for me, and I might not feel so inclined to keep pushing for custody, since I’ll get to see more of Ben since you’ll be around.”

“What?” Please don’t offer me this, I beg him in my head. Don’t make this part of the deal. I won’t be able to say no.

“You heard me. So, think it over. But not too long. Tick tock, all offers have an expiration date. Just remember, I won’t stop until I’ve won, Emily. I’ll do whatever I can to make it so. Pick the right team to be on. Sooner or later, I will get what I want.”

***

How many times have you looked back on a decision you’ve made, and wished that you’d done it differently? How many times, when in that moment, you’d been so sure you were doing the right thing?

How many times in my future will I look back on this exact moment and wonder if I made the right decision.

“Come on, Ben. Hurry up, we have to go.” I hurry my son. Grabbing as many of our possessions as possible and cramming them into the suitcase.

“Where, Mommy? Where are we going?” he asks, taking my hand as I lead him out of the bus.

“We’re going…we’re going away. We have to leave, right now.” I push the suitcase out the door and pick Ben up under his arms and help him down the steps.

“But…I don’t want to go, Mommy. I want to stay,” he says, tugging on my arm, willing me to drop the suitcase handle.

“I know, I know, but we can’t. You have to come with me now. We’re going to go on a new adventure! Don’t you want that?” I say, trying to keep my voice light, hoping he doesn’t pick up on my own sadness.

“I don’t know, Mommy. I don’t want to leave.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Mommy’s sorry, but it’s for the best.”

“Can’t I say goodbye to everyone?”

“No, sweetheart. We don’t have time. We, er, we can call them later.”

“Please, Mommy please!” he yells, and his confusion tears at me.

“Quiet, Ben. Just please, be quiet until we get into the taxi.”

“I don’t want to be quiet, Mommy! I want to say goodbye to everyone. I want to say goodbye to Uncle Brad! Uncle BRAD!” he yells.

“What’s going on? Where are you going, Emily?” Brad comes up behind us, catching Ben in his arms.

“I…I have to go, Brad. I’m sorry,” I say, not bearing to look at him.

“No…wait, what’s going on? Where are you going?” he asks, his voice as panicked as I feel.

“I… I can’t tell you.”