Page 65 of Once Bitten

“Oh my god, is something going on between you and Kara?”

I could only confirm by not denying it.

“Finn! Does she know about Madeleine?”

“She does now. Well, she knows we’re married.”

“She didn’t know before?”

“No.”

“FINN!”

“Fuck! I know! Fuck fuck fuck!” I felt like scratching at my own skin, at the helplessness boiling under the surface.

“I had no idea when you guys came to Lyon, I thought… just thought you guys were working together.”

“How astute of you.” I snapped sarcastically.

Heather flinched at my words.

“Shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean that, I’m just, I don’t know what to do.”

“What exactly is going on between you two?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know how it happened! Just, every time I came near her, I couldn’t, I couldn’t resist. And one thing led to another, and soon we couldn’t get enough of each other.”

“Finn. You’re married.”

“I know.”

“What did you think was going to happen?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t care. I just wanted to be with her. I finally got to be with her, Heather.”

She looked at me, sympathy welling up in her eyes.

“What DOES she know? What is she expecting from you?”

“Nothing. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“I don’t mean now, I meant, while you were together.”

“I told her…” I shook my head at the memory, at the complete idiocy, “I told her that we could only be together for this week, and that I couldn’t promise anything beyond our time in Paris together. And tonight, I told her, I love her.”

“Oh, Finn. You…you can’t say that to a woman and expect everything’s going to work out well.”

“I know that now. I just, I didn’t want to hurt her again.”

“But…”

“But I just did.”

“Yeah. I know it’s not a conventional marriage, but that’s not going to matter to someone like Kara, Finn. You need to explain to her what’s going on.”

“How? I don’t even know where she is.”

Heather reached out to squeeze my hand, I grabbed it for comfort. “I don’t know, Finn. But we’ll find a way.”