Page 71 of Worth the Fight

Thirty awkward minutes later, Lukas and I are sitting outside the doctor’s office waiting for a cab. It’s the same bench I sat on the first time, when Lukas called and I was hoping for some reassurance, but instead, he told me he was extending his deployment.

“How do you feel about the news?

I stare off at the other side of the street where there’s a small park. A group of moms are together, sitting and laughing with one another as their kids play nearby. The children are bundled in all of their snow gear, scooping up handfuls of the fresh dusting from the ground and tossing it at one another. The snow gets caught midair, usually flying in the other direction, but the kids don’t seem to mind. Their infectious giggles echo across the road, causing an immediate smile to grace my face.

“Well, it isn’t what I wanted to hear, but kind of what I expected.” Keith had told us that while my foot had healed somewhat, the bones aren’t healing quite as fast as they did the first time. Makes sense, since they were already weakened to begin with. I went into the appointment hoping I could get the boot off and start working with PT, but instead, I’m stuck nursing the injury for another four weeks.

“Want to address the elephant in the room?” he asks, reaching for my hand.

I lace my fingers with his and sit up, twisting to face him the best I can with my bulky boot between us.

“That’s the guy, isn’t it?” Lukas gestures to the building behind us with his head. “The guy you dated after me. The one Nana had told me about?”

I nod.

He blows out a heavy breath. “Man, he’s a good-looking guy.”

I burst out laughing at that. “He is,” I agree, pulling Lukas’s hand to mine. “He’s handsome, a doctor, incredibly nice, loves ballet, treated me right…” Lukas’s face twists together the more I go on and on.

Keith was the perfect guy, really. We dated for almost three months, and never once did he push me more than I was ready. He never criticized me for not wanting to go any further with our intimacy. And the night we tried, and I had a panic attack, he sat with me until I could regain my breath. “I hope he finds a woman who appreciates all his good qualities.”

“Hell, if I was single, I’d date him.” He winks at me, then turns away, his gaze following the children on the playground much like mine had.

“Hey.” I tug on his arm. And when his crystal-blue eyes meet mine, I latch onto them. “He was a host of wonderful things, and any girl would fall head over heels for him, but I didn’t. I tried my hardest, Lukas. I wanted to date a guy like him so badly, but you know what?”

He’s quiet, his bottom lip popping open ever so slightly.

“It didn’t matter how attractive he was, how good he treated me. He could have had every textbook quality I said I wanted in a man, and it wouldn’t have mattered.” My eyes dart back and forth across his face. “None of it would have mattered, because he wasn’t you.”

Lukas exhales, nostrils flaring.

“I could never love someone the way I love you, Lukas. I know that now. I think I knew it at the time, too, but I was so sad, so mad, broken. I wanted to believe that I could try.” I pull the panels of my coat closer in to block a sudden wind, and Lukas reaches an arm up to help me. His hand slides past my shoulder, grabbing the hood of my coat and bringing it up to cover my head. “You said once, during our first phone call, that you didn't want to hash out our old memories, or you didn’t want us to rely on them to make it work, but I disagree.”

“Oh?”

“I love those memories. They’re what stuck with me, even when we weren’t talking. Even when I thought you had moved on, I think those memories are what kept my heart in it until we could be together again. They’re what make us, us, don’t you think?”

He leans forward and crashes his lips against mine. A palm comes up to cup my cheek, holding me to him. I kiss him so hard it almost hurts, but that moment changes something between us. Just like I needed to meet Candi, to see her and Lukas and Ivy together to understand what they were like, to know for myself that he didn’t fall in love with someone else, maybe Lukas needed to see it with Keith.

Our kiss softens, Lukas seeming to have a visceral reaction to my words. His shoulders relax as his body melts into the kiss. A soft hum leaves his throat, and then he pulls back, leaning his forehead against mine. His hand that had been tightly clenched in mine loosens, and he wraps his fingers around my wrist, bringing it up to rest against his heart. I can feel the thud through his chest, thumping wildly, a nearly erratic beat, and I close my eyes, letting the pulse of it through my palm play its song in my head.

“I love you, Mags. I know I broke a lot of promises to you in the past, but not all of them.” I bring my good leg up between us, bending at the knee and inching closer to him. Somehow needing to feel his warmth, his safety, now more than ever. “I promised you that I’d always love you. I promised that there would always be an us.” His eyes begin to glisten with unshed tears. “I told you there wasn’t a life for me out there if you weren’t in it, and all of that is still true.”

“I know,” I whisper, leaning forward to rest my forehead against his chest. He wraps his arms around me, tugging me closer, and I inhale his amber and lavender scent, closing my eyes and blowing out a heavy breath. “I know.”

CHAPTER 34

Lukas

We’re quiet on the drive back home. A few blocks from her apartment, Mags leans forward and says something to the driver in French. He nods, and not a moment later, he’s pulling over outside of the little French bakery near her apartment.

Mags tries to hide her smile as we exit the cab, but when I open the door and the smell of freshly baked bread and warm chocolate hits my senses, I’m pretty sure I smile like a kid on Christmas morning, and her reaction isn’t much different.

We pick out a chocolate raspberry tarte, and with the dessert in one hand, I use my other to hold on to her, lacing our fingers together as we take the final block to her apartment.

There’s something different in the air tonight. The mood is a little somber, as expected with Mags not receiving the news she wanted. But she doesn’t seem upset about it, not like I imagined she would be. She smiles at me as she unlocks her apartment, and the moment she steps inside, I’m slamming the door behind me.

She turns at the sound, and I’m already stepping toward her, tossing the dessert on the table before my hands find her hips, gripping her and lifting to set her on the bar top.