Page 22 of Beacon Grove Chronicles 1: Hassan & Sylvia

“I said work was complicated, not what I’m trying to have with you.”

Her head shook and I could tell she was painting me with the same brush as she did that nigga she married. I couldn’t completely blame her in this instance.

“That’s one and the same. If there is some part of your life I can’t be an a part of that means that you’re not going to be all in. I’m not doing a relationship where I’m not being met halfway.”

“Of course not. I’m ready to give you one hundred percent.”

“Until you have to dip off for another two years? I have kids, Hassan, what would that look like to introduce you and then you drop off of Earth again? That fucked with me and I’m an adult, how you think my kids would react? They already have one fuck nigga they’re forced to be around I’m not making it two.”

I hated that my actions had caused her distress. I’d clearly not put enough thought into how I left her. Honestly, the idea of telling her goodbye didn’t sit right with my soul. If she protested at all I knew I would’ve stayed and that would’ve had the world’s best killers coming to town to take my ass out. That wasn’t something I would bring down on Sylvia or on Beacon Grove.

“I get why you’re mad but don’t ever insult me by putting me in the same category as that lame bitch you married.”

“What in the world do you think I’m supposed to do with this threat? You’re talking big shit but it’s just talk. I don’t have anything else to go on with you besides our childhood and the one night we spent together. You think that I’m not supposed to think you dipped after you got what you wanted?”

She was making too much sense and I could only nod because it looked bad. I looked bad and that was fucking with me.

“How can I prove to you that what you think of me isn’t accurate?”

She chuckled and sighed like her answer was fucking with her. “You can’t.”

I shook my head and leaned back slightly so she didn’t misconstrue how serious I was. “I refuse to accept that, Sisi.”

“That’s not my problem, Hassan.”

The sarcasm in her voice had me leaning forward again so that she could remember who the fuck she was dealing with. That one night imprinted me on her as much as she had obviously imprinted on me. I would never disrespect her but I expected the same from her.

“Listen, I know and understand that you’re thinking a lot of shit that is wrong about me. Fuck niggas are a dime a dozen and I am sure you’ve put me in that category. But that ain’t me. I honestly had some shit come up with work and the last thing I wanted was to play hot and cold with you. But let’s keep it a buck, I didn’t get a ring on my line either. So, I think we can say we’re both to blame.”

She bit her lip, because I was making too much sense for her to disagree. At least not without looking like an asshole. “Potentially. But there’s nothing between us that I couldn’t walk away from.”

“My dick would like to prove you wrong.”

“Just like a man.”

I laughed as she rolled her eyes but I knew she was only halfway serious. “I’m saying. Right now, that’s all we’ve got between us but I’m trying to make it more. I can tell just from the one conversation that we had that there’s more. You not willing to see where it goes?”

“Why would I? Just be a friends with benefits situation. That seems more of what you’re into. I haven’t had sex since the last night we were together so we can head upstairs for a repeat.” She took the rest of her drink to the head like she was ready for that repeat.

If only she understood how bad I had it for her she wouldn’t have uttered that sentence. But it was my job to show her I meant what I said. “Nah. I’m ready for a wife and I met her when I was a young buck. She’s got baggage but I’m more than ready to handle it all for her. It’s fucking me up to think I might have added to it even unknowingly.”

Sylvia’s chest heaved slightly and I recognized the unspoken emotion. She was not only nervous but there was a flicker of hope that laced her movements. “You talk a good game.”

Emboldened my hands went back to her legs and when she didn’t slap the shit out of me I smiled. “There’s a reason for that.”

“And that is?”

“Because it ain’t game, Sisi. No matter where I’ve lived, Beacon Grove is always home. You think I’m going to ruin my name and my family’s name by playing with you? Nah. I got too much pride in my bloodline and too much common sense in my brain to do that. You’re the one girl, gone put your finger in the air, ‘cause you the one. So be ready because I’m about to show you how it feels to be pursued and adored.”

I pecked her softly on the lips before I stood up from my seat. As badly as I wanted to scoop her up and give her a repeat of the night we’d had together I didn’t. That shit was especially hard hearing that she hadn’t fucked around with anyone since then. The wildest thing was, I hadn’t either. Between being busy and wanting her, the one time I tried my dick acted like it was defunct. That’s when I knew it hadn’t been all in my head. It’s what put the urgency in me to get back to her.

And this time I was playing for keeps.

“She shot you down?”

The humor in his voice should’ve grated on my nerves but it didn’t. I was coming to him because I needed help. He was the one who encouraged me to find something more outside of The Order and my mind had immediately gone to Sylvia.

“She didn’t shoot me down. She injected gasoline into my veins and lit my ass on fire.” I rubbed my head thinking about how Sylvia was really trying to keep me in the ho’ category I mean my dick was proud but my heart was all fucked up.