Page 40 of Saving Wyatt

It was so good to feel so alive again. To feel desire. To feel that rush of norepinephrine coursing through me, that giddiness.

But then again, I had to remember that Wyatt was probably not gay, he was my best friend's brother, and most importantly, I wasn't in the market for love. No. Even when it felt so good.

After returning to Wyatt with more than a few T-shirts, I went hunting for sweaters, and we loaded up on enough clothes that we needed several bags to fit them all, a couple of which were full with all shades of blue and one a bright, fiery red. That was a win if I'd ever seen one.

"What next?" he asked when we came out, and I looked down at his crotch before I realized what I was doing and glanced back up.

"Pants?" I said.

"Right. Pants," he replied.

We walked straight into Suits and Ties, and the store assistant took over stylist duties for me. Thank God, because he had to measure Wyatt's waist and in-seams—of course he didn't know his sizes beyond Small, Large, and Extra Large—and I didn't think I was strong enough to do that without doing something absolutely scandalous. Even in public.

But even though I wasn't the one doing it, it didn't mean my body didn't light up watching it. Thankfully, Wyatt was too busy looking around him at all the other customers to notice me staring. Why was he so on edge around people? Was he self-conscious? I didn't get it. He had been somewhat relaxed in the last store too, until others walked in.

I didn't have a clue what he was thinking. Until, of course, a couple walked past us. A gay couple, that was.

They stared at the specimen being tinkered in front of them full of admiration and appreciation. Just like I’d been doing all day, though they were far less subtle.

As soon as Wyatt noticed them, his pose stiffened, his head dipped, and he started staring at a fixed point on the floor. He barely even breathed until they cleared our area.

That was when it clicked. The awkwardness. The looks. The stiffness. It reminded me of something. Someone.

Me.

When I was kid so deep in the closet I couldn't even breathe for fear of revealing myself.

Was that what was happening here? Was Wyatt in the closet?

"Shit," I mumbled under my breath.

I didn't need that confirmation. If anything, I needed the exact opposite. I needed him to prove he was as straight as his brother and start checking out women or something, because knowing he was gay would make it so much worse for me.

I could barely control myself when I didn't have that information.

"Thank you for today," he said when we came out of the second store with even more bags.

I blinked. "Oh, are we done? You don't need to get anything else?" I asked.

He smiled at me and shook his head gently. "I can get the rest on my own, but thank you," he replied, and I lowered my head, not ready to say goodbye just yet. "I am quite hungry, though, if you want to grab a bite?"

"I'd love to bite—erm, grab a bite, I mean."

Good one, Doctor.

He chuckled then looked at Main Street and all our options. "What are you up for?" he asked.

"I'm good with anything. What about River Rock Inn? I've been meaning to check it out."

"You know what? Me too. Let's do it," he said, and we made our way past the boardwalk to the little glass box on the waterfront, and it wasn't long before our seafood boils and Cajun fries arrived.

Despite the time of year, the sun graced us with its presence for a few glorious minutes. And for those few glorious minutes, with the bright blue ocean stretching endlessly beyond us, the sun shining above us and filtering through the glass ceiling, and the smell of the sea on our table, I felt surreal.

It was as if I was back in Greece, childhood memories mixed in with adult experiences that made me feel at ease. Made me feel as if I was right at home. Especially when I looked at him, the beautiful abyss of his eyes. An abyss I could drown in if I wasn't careful, and right now, I didn't want to be. I wanted to be lured into it. I wanted to be enveloped in it. Enveloped by him.

"Are you all right? Are you feeling sick again?" he asked, leaning in and searching for answers in my face.

I blinked and sat back.