Page 66 of I’ll Be Home for Christmas

‘It has. And once again, I’ve failed. I’ve let you down.’

‘You didn’t fail,’ came her dad’s immediate response. ‘That man failed you. That man ruined things, not you.’

‘And that man has gone, I can assure you,’ said Meg.

‘He’s not going to try to come back?’ Astrid asked.

Meg shook her head. ‘No. We’re done. I never should’ve stayed with him so long. I never really loved him. I never had what you two had… what Chrissie and Anthony had.’ She felt her sister’s hand tighten around hers. ‘He’s gone. I never want to see him again and I don’t have to.’

‘You worked so hard in that business,’ said Earl. ‘It breaks my heart. Your profits soared once he had you on board. You didn’t fail; you succeeded.’

‘You really did,’ said Chrissie with a smile.

Her mum said, ‘I wish you’d told us, Meg. Don’t ever doubt that we are proud of you. We know you will pick yourself up and find another job you like just as much. More so, maybe.’

She expected her mum was also referring to Grant’s presence. She hadn’t thought before that landing a chocolatier role elsewhere without the drag of someone like Grant would turn out to be even more of a dream.

Her parents, Chrissie and Jonathan had all told her she hadn’t completely failed. She was the only one who had seen it that way. When she’d come here it had been so clear-cut in her mind given how much trouble she’d caused over the years but slowly she was learning to reframe it all.

‘I need to say some other things,’ said Meg, taking them all by surprise.

‘Anything,’ said Earl.

‘I’m not blaming you, Dad, or you, Mum, for what I did to Chrissie at her wedding. But I want to explain why I thought marrying Anthony was a mistake.’ She quickly looked at Chrissie to make sure this was okay, and her sister gave a little nod. ‘We both struggled over the years you worked away with the army.’ She watched her dad’s face change. They’d never talked about it before, none of them. ‘Chrissie and I would worry ourselves silly, we knew Mum did, so we kept it to ourselves. You both know I hated moving, but what you might not know is how often Chrissie cried and I comforted her.’

Earl’s eyes glistened with tears that had sprung up in light of this revelation. ‘Is that true?’

‘It’s true,’ said Chrissie. ‘I missed you, Dad. I hated it when you were away, but I never said anything because I was always so happy when you came home.’

‘It’s why I felt sure that Chrissie marrying Anthony was a mistake,’ Meg told them. ‘I didn’t want her to go through what you went through, Mum.’ She didn’t need to admit to reading the diaries; they would’ve seen enough of their mum’s reactions to piece her feelings together. ‘I wanted her to have a home, to feel safe.’ She shook her head, got up and went to hug her dad because she’d upset him. ‘I always felt safe, Dad. I didn’t mean that, and I know you did your best. It’s why we both love you so much and why that will never, ever change. I just wanted to be completely honest with all of you today.’

Astrid wiped her eyes on a tissue. ‘I tried to keep my worry from you girls. I didn’t know how upset you got, Chrissie.’

‘I never resented you for it, Mum. You were strong for yourself, for Dad, for us. And I had Meg.’

Meg faced her sister. She had Chrissie now. After all this time, they could be there for each other again.

‘What about coming here to Winterbruck to live?’ Astrid asked Meg. ‘You seemed happy some of the time, and it was our last move.’

‘I was happy for a while, but I think I was always waiting to up sticks and go somewhere else. We never did, but perhaps that was what was behind me going to London. It was a change, but it was a change I was in control of. Bad spell included.’

‘It got you where you needed to be, I suppose,’ said Astrid.

Meg nodded. ‘The world of chocolate. I got there eventually.’

‘Now there’s a world you will always belong in,’ said her dad with a smile that broke through any upset she’d caused.

When Meg finally made her way from her parents’ back to Jonathan’s chalet next door, she hoped today’s gathering would be the first of many for their family, which was still right there, intact. And she wanted to hold on to it forever.

* * *

‘Night cap?’ Jonathan asked as soon as she stepped inside the chalet out of the snow. It had started to fall again, just softly, prettily, in time for Christmas Eve tomorrow which would bring a whole lot of joy now the family were at the stage they were. And Rhys was here for Sarah too. She could see how happy that made her niece and Chrissie.

She removed her boots and shook off the excess snow before she closed the front door. ‘You’re not tired?’ she asked Jonathan.

‘Not yet.’ The words weren’t suggestive at all, nor was the way he’d said them, but the way he was looking at her made her tummy do a somersault with nerves.

Meg hadn’t felt like this about any man in a long time. It was as though she’d been numb to love and relationships. And being around Jonathan only highlighted what she and Grant had had. Or rather what they hadn’t. Their relationship had had some passion at the start, but then it had merely become convenient. A habit. And not a good one. She wondered how much he’d used her, given her skills and expertise as a chocolatier. With her at the helm he’d been free to go off under the guise of looking at premises to expand, have meetings, negotiate terms – all the things he’d lied about when really he was busy losing The Cocoa Cupboard.