Page 62 of I’ll Be Home for Christmas

‘You are going to be family, of course it is.’ Nanna smiled.

‘I’ve kind of invited myself here around Christmastime, but don’t worry – I’ve booked a hotel room.’

‘That works,’ said Nanna. ‘We’re a bit cramped here. But you’ll be joining us for Christmas, no option there.’

‘I’d listen to her, if I were you,’ said Grumps. ‘And we are over the moon to have you here.’

Sarah loved how excited they both were to see him. So was she, no matter that they still needed to talk.

Grumps picked up some of the crockery. ‘We’ll clear up.’ He and Nanna made a swift exit, and Grumps only interrupted them one more time to bring them a mug of coffee each as well as a little china boat of full-cream milk next to the mugs on the tray. Sarah liked that he’d used the posh mugs and the little boat. It meant he liked her fiancé already.

She added milk to both the mugs and passed one to Rhys. They were sitting on the sofa, their knees touching, and it felt so good to be this close to him again.

She updated him on how Meg was, the relief they all felt, the fact that the weather had done an about-turn quick enough. ‘Mum and Meg have been talking too,’ she added.

‘That’s a really good sign.’ He set his mug down and when she did the same, he took her hands in his. ‘Sarah, now we’re alone, tell me truthfully – is it okay that I’m here? I know you came to get some breathing space. To get away from me.’ His gaze drifted away from her momentarily and she could see how hard this was for him.

‘I didn’t come here to get away from you. Not really. It was to get away from everything, it all felt too much. I couldn’t think, but being here has made it much easier.’

‘You said on the phone that you think we can fix this.’

‘We can,’ she said urgently. She wanted nothing more. ‘Do you?’

‘I do. But… I suppose my question now is, do you still want to get married?’

‘I’m scared.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not making much sense. What grown woman is scared of walking down the aisle?’

‘I’d say there are probably a few others.’

‘Maybe scared isn’t the right word – that sounds too dramatic.’

‘Just talk to me. Tell me how you really feel.’

She’d thought about this moment over and over again, rehearsing how she’d start the conversation to get her point across but help him see she really did love him. ‘I do want to marry you. I also think the world of you and your family, Rhys.’ He looked at her with anticipation. ‘They’re kind, they’re generous⁠—’

‘They’re too much. Is that what’s been stressing you out?’

‘Partly. There are a lot of them.’ She looked around the room as if her grandparents, her mum and her auntie were in the room with them. ‘This is a big family gathering for me this year. We’re a sum total of five people. Six, counting you.’

‘I know my family can be a lot, especially all at once.’

‘It worries me… It’s not just your family, it’s everything. My world is small, quiet.’

‘While mine is loud and busy?’

She smiled. ‘You get it.’

‘I do. Because I know you. And it’s okay that we are different.’

‘Maybe.’

‘Not maybe,’ he said.

‘What if it isn’t, though? What if it comes between us? What if every Christmas you want to have a big family gathering and I would rather it be just the two of us or a smaller group? And it’s not just Christmas, what about every other occasion? A few weeks ago, your mum hosted Sunday dinner for fifteen people. Fifteen! Your siblings talk about joint holidays. Parties at their houses. They’re all so confident. And I’m not.’

He got off the sofa and crouched in front of her. He took her hands in his. ‘I love everything about you, Sarah. I adore every part of you, for the way you are. Right now. I fell in love with a girl in dungarees covered in debris, her hair all messy, a streak of paint on her cheek, dust all over her knees. And I’ve never stopped loving that girl since the day she climbed down from the stepladder and said a proper hello to me.’

‘I’m a painter-decorator and you’re an architect,’ she said.