Page 40 of I’ll Be Home for Christmas

‘And can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?’

‘Yes. But…’

‘Then tell him how you feel. Talk to him about what you both should do.’

Sarah paced over to the window. She wanted to say something about Meg, how Meg had given her pretty similar advice, but she knew it wouldn’t go down well.

She turned around. ‘What just happened at dinner, with Meg, was horrible.’

‘Hey, I thought we were talking about you.’

‘We have to talk about her too, Mum.’ Would they ever be sisters again? Because from where Sarah was standing, they owed it to themselves and to their parents to try. Why weren’t they trying?

‘Meg isn’t the reason I came. I’m here for you, Sarah, nobody else.’ Just like that, she’d sidestepped talk about Meg yet again.

‘You always did want to fix things for me,’ said Sarah.

‘Most mothers do that for their children.’

‘But some also let their kids make mistakes, and that’s how they learn. And I’m not a child, Mum.’

‘You’re my child.’

‘Sometimes your idea of helping seems to make things worse,’ Sarah blurted out. Perhaps she shouldn’t have said it, even though it was the truth. Her mum looked so hurt.

‘You’re right. Sometimes I make a big fuss. But I want you to be looked after, I want you to have nice things and to be safe. I want to protect you.’ Chrissie waited a beat before she asked, ‘Did you come here to get away from me?’

Sarah looked out the window, at the snow, the freedom and quiet compared to the atmosphere in this room, with its tension and upset.

‘I thought it might be partly my fault,’ said Chrissie before Sarah could even think of how to answer the question.

‘Mum—’

‘No, I’m not saying it to make you feel bad. I haven’t made it easy by questioning your decisions, then by not picking up on your doubts sooner.’

‘But don’t you see? Those doubts are for me to fix, not you.’ And she had to do it fast. She had to talk to Rhys properly before her flight left to go back to him in a week’s time.

‘Yes, I suppose you’re right.’

Her mum had left her bedroom after that, and Sarah hadn’t spoken to her properly since. She’d had a headache, whether from the situation or from the day’s high altitude she wasn’t sure, so she’d made a brief appearance downstairs to say goodnight and then she’d gone back up the stairs. She’d checked the bedroom where Meg had been sleeping, then the tiny box room which could fit a camp bed at a push, but Meg’s belongings weren’t in either of the rooms.

And now she was at Jonathan’s losing herself in painting to distract herself from the fact that Meg must have left and hadn’t even said goodbye.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been working but as she reached the final part of the wall she was working on in the hallway Jonathan came down the stairs part-way. ‘The colour looks great.’

She stepped back to look at it and smiled. ‘It does. It’s a good choice.’ With every movement of the roller, it was slowly transforming the hallway from bland to warm and inviting.

She was about to suggest taking a break, having a cup of tea, when she heard a noise from upstairs. Quite a loud one. Startled, she looked up at the ceiling. ‘Did you hear that? Do you think something is on the roof?’

Jonathan looked like the deer Grumps described. He’d seen it a few nights ago, its eyes bright when it came up to the trees at the foot of the garden and was surprised by him and Nanna out the back fetching more wood for the fireplace.

The noise and Jonathan’s reaction made much more sense when a figure appeared at the top of the stairs.

‘Auntie Meg?’ She put down the paint roller as Meg made her way down to join them. ‘I thought you’d left.’ She hugged her auntie. ‘I’m so glad you haven’t.’

‘You can’t get rid of me that easily.’ Meg hugged her back. It was a hug that told Sarah that no matter what had happened between her and Chrissie, Meg didn’t want it to get in the way of knowing her niece any more. And Sarah felt the same way.

‘Are you staying here?’ Sarah looked from Meg to Jonathan.