Page 20 of I’ll Be Home for Christmas

And that was how they found themselves looking at old photographs from over the years, pictures Sarah had never seen. Her mum had a few of herself and her family, but nothing like these collections. These showed her mum as a teenager, Meg too. Sarah had a laugh at her mother’s terrible perm that apparently had been all the rage back then, and on the next page they saw Meg had done the same to her hair.

‘It was trendy.’ Meg laughed as she defended her choice and nudged Sarah to make her point. ‘Look at this one, this was the time I was telling you about. It was our first winter in Winterbruck.’ It was a photograph of the four of them huddled together in front of the chalet, big smiles on their faces, a wreath on the door behind them tied with a tartan bow.

The next few pictures were of Chrissie and Meg in the snow – making snow angels, forming snowballs on the ground, another of their laughing faces as Chrissie launched a snowball and it was caught on camera, mid-air. There were more shots of them sledging, each of them solo, and another with the sisters on the same sledge, Chrissie sitting in front with Meg behind her, wrapping her arms around Sarah’s mum.

They’d been happy sisters once, and Sarah wondered whether she’d ever get to find out what happened to drive them so far apart.

They had precious little family as it was. Why would her mum push anyone else away?

9

CHRISSIE

Doctor Todd, one of Chrissie’s favourite doctors – on account of how much he reminded her of her dad, both in age and demeanour – came into reception at the surgery looking for the forms Chrissie had already set aside.

‘Try one of the mince pies in the kitchen,’ he urged her. ‘My wife made them, you’ll love them.’ And with a smile he headed back to his rooms, ready for his next patient.

She was on her own at reception for the time being. Maria had called in to say she had to take her father-in-law to urgent care after he’d burnt his arm, and Lesley was en route from her son’s nativity production at the school but would be here any second to join her.

With just today and tomorrow to go at work before she was on holiday Chrissie should’ve been excited like she usually was in the second week of December, but with her continued agonising over Sarah, it was hard to feel anything other than stressed. The phone call with Rhys had revealed Chrissie wasn’t the only one worrying, and in a strange way that had made her feel less alone.

Chrissie and Anthony had had their hearts set on having two or three children, but a second child never came, and slowly they’d accepted that their family was one of three. She’d felt lucky to have Sarah, but Chrissie had always wished she could’ve given her daughter a sibling to confide in, someone to have on her side. She’d had that with Meg once and no matter what had happened since, she would always remember it fondly.

The phone at the desk rang again and again. She triaged patients – or at least those who would let her – and she booked appointments, and almost an hour later she looked up to see Rhys coming through the surgery door.

She stood up. ‘What’s happened?’ She ignored the ringing phone this time.

‘Nothing. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you panic,’ he said. ‘I can wait till you have a moment.’

She answered the call, but she immediately felt under pressure. The person on the other end started yelling, accused her of not caring, said the NHS should be ashamed of themselves. Chrissie was usually calm when this happened but right now the temptation to hang up the call so she could talk to her daughter’s fiancé almost won.

She stayed on the line, of course – she was too professional to do anything else – and the rant continued for a bit longer before the line went dead. Presumably the woman on the other end had run out of steam. Chrissie felt a surge of relief when she saw Lesley coming into reception.

As Lesley relieved her for a break Chrissie went over to Rhys who was seated out of the way of patients in one of the chairs next to the blood-pressure machine.

Sarah had said she was only going to Switzerland for Christmas, but Chrissie was beginning to wonder whether she would be back here in time for her New Year’s Eve wedding. And that would mean she was in a really bad place and hadn’t felt able to tell her own mother about it. Her parents didn’t seem worried about anything, but their focus would be spending time with their granddaughter rather than thinking about the bigger picture. That was Chrissie’s job.

‘Have you spoken to Sarah?’ She hoped Rhys would say yes because she was finding it difficult to back off and not call her daughter to try to find out more of what was happening.

‘I’ve had a few texts but she hasn’t called,’ Rhys replied. ‘She sent some photographs as well. I think she’s having a good time.’

She could hear the fear in his voice, the concern that Sarah’s visit meant more than he’d first thought when she left England. Chrissie wondered if he was panicking that Sarah was slipping away. She knew just what that felt like. She’d been feeling it for years as Sarah grew up and started to be more independent. She’d felt it again when Sarah met Rhys, when she announced her engagement and moved in with him. The difference was, it was inevitable for a parent to have to face this stage, but it wasn’t for a fiancé. Sarah and Rhys should feel closer together over time, not like they were losing each other.

‘Can I see the pictures?’ Perhaps it might make Rhys feel a bit calmer and it would be nice to see some photographs of Sarah.

But when he showed her, Chrissie realised the photographs weren’t of her daughter. They were of Chrissie and Meg. ‘Sarah has been going through these?’

‘She has. And she mentioned a place called Frostkinder Hill where she went sledging when her dad was alive. Does that ring a bell?’

Chrissie smiled. ‘It does. We all went there on Christmas Day.’ The last perfect Christmas. The Christmas before the one that was blown apart with the devastating news that Anthony had been killed. So instead of waiting for him to join them in Winterbruck, she’d been packing up her things and going back to England and a life she no longer recognised.

Frostkinder Hill brought back other memories too. She and Meg had been there a lot when they first moved to Winterbruck, and in the years after until Meg upped and left for London. Those snow days were some of Chrissie’s happiest memories with her sister.

Rhys put his phone away. ‘I don’t know what to do about Sarah. I’m worried about her.’

‘Me too, Rhys. And I don’t know what to do either.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Aren’t you working today?’ He was usually so busy in his job. Sarah had told her how incredibly hard he had worked to get where he was and that a promotion probably wasn’t too far off for him.

‘I’m between jobs on site. I should be getting to the next one but found myself coming in here as I passed. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have turned up at your work.’