Page 32 of My Protective Biker

We end up in the kitchen making sandwiches, the three of us moving around each other easily. Zoe talks while we work, telling Carina about the women at the clubhouse and how Sydney explained meeting Clint, how Natalie described running from her wedding and ending up with Tate.

We sit at the table to eat and the conversation flows easy and natural. Zoe asks about the clinic and Carina tells her about the animals. I listen and watch them interact and think about how easily Carina has integrated into this space.

Around ten-fifteen Zoe stands and picks up Hamlet. "I'm going to get him settled. Night, Dad. Night, Carina."

"Night," we both say.

Her door closes and I look at Carina across the table.

"Come on," I tell her.

We head outside to the back porch. The night is warm and the cicadas are loud and we sit in the old wooden chairs that have been out here since before Zoe was born. For a while we just sit in silence, listening to the night.

"What are you thinking?" she asks eventually.

"That three days ago I didn't know you existed. Now you're here and you're mine and the club knows it and Zoe's happy about it." I look at her. "Thinking I don't know how to process how fast this happened."

"Do you need to process it? Or can you just accept that sometimes things happen fast and that's okay?"

I think about that. About the years I've spent being controlled and deliberate about everything. About how none of that stopped Zoe from being taken or me from getting shot. About how Carina showed up at four in the morning and didn't fall apart.

"I can accept it," I tell her.

She reaches for my hand and I take it, our fingers threading together.

"What did Clint say to you?" I ask. "Before church. What exactly did he tell you?"

"That being with you means being Vigil family. That I'm a target now. That Marrow will use me against you if they can." She's quiet for a moment. "That I need to accept what the club is without trying to change it."

"And you're okay with all of that."

"I'm okay with all of that."

We sit there a while longer. Eventually the temperature drops a few degrees and Carina shivers slightly. I stand and pull her up, keep her hand in mine as we head inside.

In the bedroom we get ready for bed with the easy familiarity of people who have been doing this longer than we actually have. She uses the bathroom first and when I come out she's already under the covers, curled on her side facing my side of the bed.

I turn off the light and climb in next to her, settling on my right side because of the shoulder. She shifts immediately, fitting herself against me with her head on my chest and her arm across my stomach.

We lie there in the dark and I think about everything that's happened since Tuesday when I walked into her clinic. Think about the choice I made to pursue this despite every tactical reason not to. Think about her choice to stay despite the danger being real and immediate.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

"For what?"

"For choosing this. For not running when you saw what it actually looks like. For showing up."

Her arm tightens around me. "Thank you for being honest. For not asking me to be anything other than what I am."

Her breathing evens out gradually and I know she's close to sleep. I tighten my arm around her and close my eyes.

Tomorrow Marrow is still a threat. Tomorrow I'll have to have a conversation with Dean about my daughter. Tomorrow the world continues being exactly as dangerous as it's always been.

But tonight Carina's asleep in my bed and Zoe's safe down the hall and for the first time in twenty years I woke up this morning and didn't immediately start calculating what could go wrong. I just lay there watching Carina sleep and felt something I haven't felt since I was twenty-two years old.

Peace.

Not the absence of danger. Not safety. Just the knowledge that I'm not carrying it alone anymore.