Page 98 of His Reckless Freshman

“Of course.” He zips his lips. “You know you can trust me and Chuck. Not a word.”

“Thanks, man.” I nod and head for my room.

Closing the door behind me, I lean against the wood and stare at the rumpled bedding.

Shit.

31

JOLIE

It’s been three days since Ben rejected me, and I’ve been moping around like a sad sack ever since. And I don’t even care. Connecting with him that way was off the charts. I wasn’t scared to have him push inside me, and when he did… it felt incredible.

And it probably felt incredible because it was him.

I know that if I’d tried that with anyone else, it would have felt like an intrusion.

It’s because it was Ben that it worked.

But he doesn’t want me.

Trying to study or even think straight has been nearly impossible, which I hate myself for.

I want to be like “He’s just a guy” and act all blasé, like he didn’t take a chunk of my heart and keep it.

But I can’t.

That’s so not me, and even though I wish I could be like that, I can’t.

I’ve been all but useless ever since I ran out of Ben’s house. I’ve sat like a zombie during classes, studying has flown out the window, and do you think I’ve been able to investigate anything for Kieran’s stupid story? He caught me just before our team meeting yesterday to ask if I had something he could use to pitch it for the paper, and I apologized, saying I’d been really swamped with studying. I lied through my teeth, and it was so obvious.

“Well, that’s disappointing, Jolie. Can I see you in my office after we’re done, please?”

I nodded, then skipped out as soon as the meeting ended. I don’t want to get caught in his office again. Thankfully, he was too busy bickering with Angelica to notice me slipping out, and if he tries to follow up, then I’ll just tell him I didn’t want to interrupt him.

I’ve kind of been tensing for some kind of text or phone call from him.

Where were you?

I asked to see you.

You’re obviously not very interested in joining this paper after all.

Between the stress of that and the sorrow of losing Ben, I’ve turned into Miss Mope.

Right now, I’m hugging my pillow and listening to sad music. Which I know is ridiculous. It’s not as if Ben and I were a couple. But man, I want to be.

I so want to be!

Spending my high school years crushing on guys who would never notice me… that felt different to what I’m going through right now. Ben noticed me. He tutored me. He made me come. He made me fall. Hard.

So getting over him is going to be… impossible.

A knock at the door makes me flinch. Nylah left a couple of hours ago. Probably couldn’t handle being around my sad butt and wanted to get away from me. She asked me what was wrong, and I couldn’t answer her, so she gave up and walked out the door.

I don’t want to have to deal with whoever’s come to visit, so I stay quiet, pressing my mouth into my pillow.

“Jolie, it’s me. Come on, open up.” Caroline’s voice wafts through the door, and for about five whole seconds, I resist her. But then she knocks again, and I figure I may as well get this over with.