Page 94 of His Reckless Freshman

Because while I’ve been catching feelings for this guy, he doesn’t think about me that way at all. Now he has to tell me that he’s not interested. He doesn’t feel anything for me; he just got caught up in the moment, and this will never happen again.

We haven’t broken down any barriers today. I haven’t made him mine.

All I’ve managed to do is erect a new wall, because I forced him to cross a line he didn’t want to.

My lips part as these thoughts cascade through me. Like muddy water running down a bank, I suddenly feel dirty, dejected.

I always do this. Fall for the guys who don’t want me.

I’ll be floating along in my giddy little bubble, and then suddenly—POP! My slow brain finally catches up to what my heart couldn’t see.

And it’s happening all over again.

Ben’s agitated because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. He doesn’t care about me the way I care about him, and now he has to tell me.

He hasn’t gone and fallen in love like stupid me.

You’re in love? Really?

I think so. Or if I’m not, I’m well on my way to getting there.

Ben isn’t just great with his hands, he’s sweet and kind and a clever Scrabble player. He loves Legally Blonde and Bridgerton. He has a great smile, and he’s smart… and how could I not fall for him!

He helped me out when I asked him to. He showed me things without expecting anything in return. He even went all the way with me because I wanted him to.

But he didn’t want that.

Gazing at his broad back, the ache inside me blooms and grows until I think I might cry.

Scrambling off the bed, I quickly grab my things. He’s seen me cry enough. I have to go. Pulling on my clothes, I struggle to clip my bra with shaking hands.

“Jolie,” Ben croaks, but I don’t turn to look at him.

“I’m gonna go. I have some studying I have to do, and now this article I need to…” I shake my head, wondering if I should thank him for our final session.

But I don’t want to rub his nose in what I just made him do.

Snatching my bag, I avoid looking at him as I reach for the door.

“Jolie, please, just…”

“Bye, Ben.” I force a smile, my eyes glassing over and starting to burn as I let myself look at him one last time. “Thank you for everything.”

I want to say so much more.

I want to apologize but also praise him for how great he is. I want to blather on about how spending time with him has been the highlight of my college life so far. I want to beg him to see me again.

But I can’t keep forcing him into this.

He’s too kind to say no.

But he can’t hide his regret from me.

His expression crumples and he whispers my name one last time before I bolt out the door.

Hustling down the stairs, I actually let out a little scream when I nearly collide with a gorgeous Black woman. Or maybe she’s Hispanic. I’m not sure, but she’s tall and beautiful with this playful smile and sparkling brown eyes.

“Hi there.” She looks me up and down like she can’t wait to find out who I am. “I’m Charli.”