Page 39 of His Reckless Freshman

Doesn’t she know how lucky she is?

I’d love to see my parents that easily.

I mean, sure, they only live an hour away and I can go home on weekends if I want, but I think it’s sweet that she has a regular catch-up time with her parents. It’s obvious how much they love her.

And my parents love me too. I’m their only daughter. Their precious girl, and I know I mean the world to them.

Shifting in my seat, I picture myself at the dining room table, talking about our days. We’d all take turns and have to tell each other our highs and lows from the day. Ugh, the thought of doing that this week gives me hives. There’s no way I can ever admit to my parents what I did on Friday night. They just wouldn’t understand how I could be so reckless.

They’d be horrified.

Unlike Ben.

He was horrified for a completely different reason.

“You’ve never had an orgasm?” Those weren’t his exact words, but that’s basically what he couldn’t believe.

Obviously at the age of nearly nineteen, I should have experienced one of those. I should have been touching myself or something. I’ve tried to do it a couple of times, but it just doesn’t work.

I should probably talk to Caroline about all of this.

She’d understand what I went through on Friday night, right?

But I’m too embarrassed.

I can’t even believe I told Ben—a basic stranger!

He just caught me in a weak moment, is all. There was just such a sweet compassion in those pale brown eyes of his that the words practically fell out of me, and now I can’t stop thinking about them.

With a huff, I once again try to focus, managing two whole paragraphs of my article before slumping back in my seat and thinking about that tall glass of water yet again.

He really is handsome in that all-American good boy kind of way, and I shouldn’t be thinking about him.

I don’t want to find him handsome.

In fact, I’m not even sure I ever want to see him again. I basically exposed every humiliating part of myself, and it’ll no doubt be super awkward next time we talk.

So don’t let there be a next time. Just avoid him.

Along with Kieran.

Ugh. Am I creating a list now?

By the end of my time here, will I be jumping around corners so I don’t have to run into anyone I’ve embarrassed myself in front of? That could be half the student body!

Rubbing my eyes, I reread what I’ve written, then refer to my notes. Ben’s answers were so good. They showed so much of who he is as a person, and it made me really respect and admire him. I love that the first thing he’d do after winning a championship is call his older sister. I also love the way he spoke about the other players on the team.

I focus on those answers and manage to put together a big chunk of the article before my brain is drifting back to Marty’s and Ben’s words…

“Seriously, sex is not a sin. Humans were designed to have it. To enjoy it. It’s a gift.”

And apparently masturbating is good for me too.

My eyebrows bunch together as I lean forward and open up an Incognito window on Google Chrome. Glancing over my shoulder like someone might catch me, I turn back and quickly type:

Are orgasms good for you? Is masturbating something I should be doing?

A plethora of information pops up, and I spend the next twenty minutes confirming everything Ben said.