Page 41 of Sweet Heart

“Maybe I’m not the one who needs reminding.”

She passes dangerously close to me, and I see her twitch with the effort not to slam her shoulder into me. It feels as if she has just driven nails straight through my feet, locking me into place. An ice-cold sensation runs through my body and fills my entire chest. Wilder knows everything, and I know she won’t be afraid to use that against me.

What the hell are you going to do now? My fingers itch to curl in on themselves, and I have to close my eyes to prevent myself from hyperventilating.

As soon as I do, Mary’s face floats into my mind’s eye, and I instantly feel calmer. We made a choice, together. I am not in this alone. It won’t be easy. Wilder made that abundantly clear, but I need to try. Those few days without Mary were far worse than anything Wilder can do to me.

My chest opens up a little, and I take in a gulp of air. By the time I open my eyes again, I have lifted my chin and continued on to my locker, ignoring the prying eyes. They are irrelevant. Most of these people won’t matter to me five years from now. Why should they affect my life now?

No. The only one who matters is Mary.

And for her, I will face the whole world.

Chapter 15

Cat

I’ve already finished my first cup of coffee by the time I scan the list of current cases. There are fifty-three patients in our care. Busy weekend. People underestimate the combination of alcohol and a full moon. I am not superstitious, but the numbers do climb during those nights.

I do a quick triage pass. There are several stab wounds, rib fractures, and even two skull fractures. I open up the notes from the night team and a quick glance is enough to confirm my suspicion.

Overnight events:

Room 101 – Nguyen

Stable. Pain controlled.

ICU 1 – Smith

Chest tube output: 120 mL overnight.

Oxygen saturation stable at 92%. Awaiting thoracic consult.

Room 109 – Ortega

Hemoglobin dropped from 11.3 → 9.8.

Repeat labs ordered.

Room 114 – Johnson

Awaiting ortho consult.

My eye lingers on the hemoglobin drop. I click the patient’s file to check their vitals. There is a clear increase in heart rate while the blood pressure slowly declines. I make a note to see this patient first so that I can check for internal bleeding.

I am about to open Smith’s file when there is a knock at the door. It swings open before I can answer, and Carmen rushes in. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are wide. I am up before she even says a word, leaving the charts where they are, right as my buzzer starts to beep.

“Talk to me,” I order while I take off my heels and slip into the sneakers I keep in the office.

“Multi-vehicle collision on the I-95. Possible tanker explosion. Twenty criticals reported so far. Mostly burn victims. First heli is on its way, ETA two minutes. It’s bad, Cat.”

I nod and follow her out into an already buzzing ER. Soon, staff will be everywhere, in need of directions. The sudden pressure pushes at me from all sides. What if I can’t do this? What if they realize I am the wrong person for this job? Enough, Katherina. Focus. There is no time for this now. I inhale deeply and silence that inner voice as the overhead speakers crackle to life.

“Attention, all personnel. Mass casualty incident declared. Emergency Department activation. All available trauma personnel, report immediately.”

The robotic voice draws the attention of the staff around us, and I know it’s go time. I nod at Carmen, who is already waiting.

“Prep for triage. Put Whitman in charge. Have Wilder prep the exam rooms, and alert the OR. You are in charge of patient tracking.”