Page 129 of Sweet Heart

“I love it.”

“I… got that impression.”

She nuzzles my neck and presses her body closer. A soft hum escapes me, and I hold her a little tighter, not wanting to ever let go of her again. I close my eyes and focus on the warmth of where her skin touches mine, her wetness against my thigh, her breaths against my collarbone. My whole world, right here in my hands.

“Baby?”

“Sí, amor?”

“What does siempre mean?”

I blink my eyes open, startled at the question. I don’t move, she is far too comfortable, but my heart starts to beat just a little faster.

“It means ‘always,’” I admit quietly.

“You said it to me when—”

“I did.”

“Why?”

This time I do move, forcing her to look at me. I tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead. My throat closes up, choking me with emotion. Her question is so tender, so full of genuine curiosity that it’s almost scary to hold. I’m afraid it will shatter if I don’t carry it the right way, but I simultaneously know that I am the only one who can.

“Because the thought of a world without you in it no longer makes sense.”

I feel her shiver in my arms and see the gleam of tears in her eyes before she turns her head away. Her muscles roll under my fingers, and I feel her throat bob as she swallows.

“Está bien, amor. I don’t expect you to—”

“One of the things I love most about you is that you pretend to be all sharp and tough, while you are actually soft and filled with so many feelings that you have to push them out sometimes so you won’t get hurt.”

Her voice quivers slightly, but her fingers continue stroking my arm. Her eyes find mine again, searching to see whether I am hearing her. Even though my blood is roaring in my ears right now, I am. My eyebrows pull together, but I dip my chin.

“Ever since I first saw you, I’ve felt this pull toward you. I am not sure if I had the right words for it or quite knew what it was at the time, but it was there. Undeniable,” she continues, choosing her words carefully. “Those few days in the beginning when we didn’t speak… they felt horrible, Katherina. I hated every second of it.”

My lip trembles, and I can only nod. If I speak now, my tears will fall, and she will want to comfort me, but I don’t want her to stop speaking. What she is telling me now is everything. She is everything.

“I didn’t plan to come back to you, you know?”

I nod. I know. I’ve always known. And right now I’m more grateful than ever that I went to see her.

“I don’t do second chances, Cat. I never have. But you… You make me feel safe. When you text me one of your short messages between surgeries, it feels like a tiny hug. It feels like you are kissing my cheek,” she whispers while she blinks back her own tears. “And when we talk? It is as if you wrap your arms around me and hold me close to your heart, even when we aren’t in the same room.”

“Amor,” I reply in a hoarse voice, but she shakes her head.

“I love it when you are in doctor mode, but I also love it when you come home to me. When you take off that mask and turn playful and teasing. I never want you to stop teasing me.”

“I won’t,” I rush the words out, and she smiles through her tears.

“Querida… you fill my heart. Every single day, it expands just a little further because of you. When I think it can’t grow any bigger, you do or say something so beautiful that it cracks and expands again.”

I press my fingers against her cheekbone, catch the tears with the pad of my thumb, move it to my lips, and drink them in. Tears of love, tears of us. She grasps me tighter as she watches me, and I hear her breath hitch. Good.

“You got under my skin and into my heart… I want to laugh with you, flirt with you, enjoy the magic of us. And I never want that to stop.”

I move a little so that I can take her face in both my hands and really look at her.

“That, mi amor, is what siempre means.”