Page 56 of Burn Protocol

“Just one, really,” she jokes. “Keep the heat out of the workplace.”

The wink she gives me makes me laugh more than her lame pun. She grins as I shake my head and reluctantly agree.

“Good, now… since we are both professionals,” she gives me a crooked smile and I just melt, “shall we continue?”

She places the recorder between us. I guess I should be grateful for the damn thing, for this situation. After all, it brought her to me. But I feel my hackles rise instantly. My jaw ticks and I exhale through my nose.

“Fine,” I sigh, “let’s do this.”

She chuckles. It’s the best sound ever.

“Shall we pick up where we left off?”

I feel the nerves rush back through my body, but this time I nod decisively. She is a journalist and what happened is on the record. We both knew this moment would come, so there is no use in putting it off. She turns on the voice recorder and nods at me.

“Getting decorated for doing my job feels wrong. We are trained to keep people safe. It’s our calling. My crew fought hard those weeks. It wasn’t just me.”

“But it was your crew who endorsed the decoration?”

Maya lifts her blue eyes to meet my gaze. I feel the muscle in my jaw roll and my shoulders tense.

“Yeah,” I mutter. “They shouldn’t have.”

“Why do you think they did?”

Her hand slides over mine, warm and comforting. The tone in which she asks the question is so delicate, so soft. This isn’t journalist Carter asking lieutenant Gonzales. This is Maya asking me.

“Because of what happened,” I rasp.

“The entrapment?”

“Yes.”

“What happened that day, El?”

She squeezes my hand and slightly lowers her head to catch my gaze. I look at her in pure marvel. How can I be a ‘professional’ around her when she makes me feel so much all at once? I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

“The fires had been raging for days. Almost every firefighter in the country was there. Every department ran on a skeleton crew to send most of their people out to us. We even received international support. It was bad, Maya.”

I pause and see her nod. She’s still with me.

“We had helicopters in the air and boots on the ground. But a fire like that doesn’t let itself be mastered. We dug fire lines, but the ashes were so hot that they just sparked new ones. That’s what happened.”

“That’s how you got trapped?”

“Yes. We didn’t realize we were surrounded by fire until it was too late. I didn’t realize. My eyes were on the front. I was stupid enough to trust that where we came from was safe. When we turned and hit that wall of fire…”

I squeeze my eyes shut and press the inside of my palms against them. The images of a burning deer rushing past me pop up—the panic in its eyes as its fur curled up against its already blackened skin. My face prickles and my hands start to shake. It takes me a moment before I realize how fast I am breathing. Maya is suddenly next to me. She presses her hand softly against my belly.

“Use your breath to push my fingers away, El.”

It takes me two tries before I inhale deeply enough to exhale, and after a few breaths I finally feel myself calm down. Maya sits down next to me, but doesn’t remove her hand. When I glance over at the table, I see that the red light is still blinking. Great.

“Sorry, I…”

“No need. We can stop if you want to.”

“No. I just… What we saw that day was awful.” My voice is small, “but I think I am ready to talk about it now.”