Page 54 of Burn Protocol

“What? No. No!”

Elena rushes forward to grab my shoulders again. This time to steady me mentally.

“No, Maya. I don’t regret anything,” she whispers softly now, almost tender.

“Then why… why are you pushing me away?” I choke out.

“I… I am not, Maya. We are at work. We need to be professional.”

“We’re professional. That doesn’t mean you can’t let me be close. Unless, that’s not what you want. God, Elena, if you need me to stay away from you…”

“No!”

Her panicked reply comes out as a strangled cry and her eyes widen. Her fingers dig deep into my skin now and the muscle in her jaw rolls more than once. My heart feels like it is dying in my chest, aching for her, but I don’t know if I should reach out or not.

“Then what do you want, El?” I whisper.

And as the question falls from my lips, my heart splits in two. It already knows that this is a moment that will define everything. I just don’t know if I am ready for that.

“Then what do you want, El?”

Her voice comes out small and quiet. I can barely hear it. But I do. And it slices right through my soul. What I want is to pull her close and kiss her. To tell her everything will be alright. For her to be mine. But I can’t. Not with the life I lead. My job always comes first. Maya gets that though, doesn’t she? A tight band wraps around my lungs, squeezing the air right out of me. My chest heaves and my head spins. I stumble back until I feel the wall against my back, steadying me. Still, she is close enough for me to smell her perfume. To see her eyes brim and her throat bob. I swallow.

“El?” she whispers as she steps closer, back into my space. “What do you want?”

Her eyes are searching my face. They are filled with worry and fear. Her hand trembles as it cups my cheek. The warmth from her fingers feels pleasant against my cool skin. I close my eyes and lean into her. The tears drip out from under my lashes.

“You, Maya.”

The confession slips out, strangled and rough. My throat burns as I say the words.

“I want you.”

She lets out a breath, a sound that is so fragile that it makes me open my eyes again. Tears are rolling down her cheeks as she stares at me with a pained expression. It feels as if my heart is bleeding. She is all I ever wanted, even if I never knew I craved it. But being with her risks my career, and everything I worked so hard to build. I’ve seen so many women toss that away for a partner. Women who lost all sense of self in that process. I can’t. And neither should Maya.

“Maya, the last two days… I’ve never felt happier,” I admit. “But our careers. Your boss… the Chief. We can’t risk that. I can’t ask you to risk that.”

“You aren’t,” she sputters. “I’m a grown woman and very capable of making my own choices, El.”

She brushes her thumb over my jaw. It just feels so right, like this is where I am supposed to be. With her.

“Maya…” I beg, as I turn my face away.

The soft whimper that falls from her lips as she retracts makes me look up. It’s the most painful sound I’ve ever heard. When I see the pain in her eyes, my mask falls. It shatters completely. I tremble when I pull her back toward me. Tears flowing freely now. Fuck it.

I turn us around and push Maya against the wall, before my lips find hers. She immediately wraps her arms around me and pulls me even closer. I wrap my hand around her throat and gently tilt her head back so that I can deepen our kiss. She moans inside my mouth, the sound reverberating through my body. It is as if every cell inside me wakes up with a hunger that borders on famine. I kiss Maya as if my life depends on it, drinking in the taste of her, the feeling of her soft skin under my hands, the way her tongue moves against mine. There is nothing but her, nothing but us. Right here, right now.

I place my thigh between hers, and slide my hands to her hips to pull her against me. She breaks the kiss to whimper at the contact and I take the opportunity to nip at her neck. The blush on her cheeks sends a jolt of electricity straight to my core. She is so fucking gorgeous.

I am about to slide my hand under her waistband when footsteps approach the door. Maya and I both jolt back, away from each other, as the door swings open. I glance at her—her lips swollen from our kiss, that blush on her cheeks, a flustered look in her eyes. Fuck. But then a mask slips into place, right before Rosa walks in.

“Oh, hey guys. What are you doing here?”

“Fernandes,” I nod, ever the lieutenant. “We were just getting to the breakroom. Maya is ready for the next interview.”

She glances briefly at me, an eyebrow raised, but then nods. When she turns to face Maya, she is beaming.

“So, Carter,” she drags out the name.