Page 3 of Playing for Keeps

“Why Toronto?” Simon asked.

“Because it seemed like the best option, even though it wasn’t the most obvious one. It’s very diverse in terms of languages and cultures, and it has an energy that keeps you interested.”

“Good answer. You’re going to love it here.”

We cut across the quad, Simon pointing out the downtown campus library in the shape of a cathedral and the student centre that resembled a spaceship. “That low building? Office supplies and existential crises. Unlimited.”

He made me laugh. He made the city seem less intimidating, which was a gift.

“Okay, time for tea,” he said briskly. “Then tunnels. Then the copy-machine chapel. And if you’re still standing, we’ll go to the notebook store that will make you believe in your own sentences.”

I smiled and kept pace with his steady stroll. It was warm, noisy and anonymous out here. Exactly what I needed.

2

MAX

The evening sun was casting a warm glow over my sister’s backyard. The air carried that summer mix of cut grass and the faint drift of someone’s barbecue from a few houses away. I sat down in a chair on the porch, the old boards creaking beneath my weight, and watched my niece and nephew in the yard.

Lucy was swinging from one of the branches of the old oak tree, her hair flying and her legs pumping hard. Lucas was crouched down by the fence, his elbows buried deep in mud, smashing his toy truck into the puddles he’d just made. There were already dark streaks on his shirt that wouldn’t come out easily.

I turned to the kitchen door and called out, “Kid’s gonna need a good hose-down before you let him back in.”

Grace’s laugh floated back through the screen door. “He’s five, Max. Dirt’s his middle name.”

I shook my head and grinned as Lucas patted down a mud pie with his palms, proud as a peacock. Lucy, meanwhile, just leaned back further and kicked even harder, climbing higher and higher on the swing. At ten years old, she was braver than most, making me proud and nervous at the same time.

The door creaked open when Grace came back outside with two glasses of iced tea. The condensation slid down the sides, catching the light. She handed me one and settled into the chair next to me, folding her legs beneath her like she always did when she was relaxed.

“Thanks,” I said and took a sip. The iced tea was sharp and cold. Perfect.

Grace glanced toward the yard and then back at me. “So. What’s on your mind? You have that face.”

I snorted. “This is just my face.”

“Nope,” she said, pointing at me with her drink. “That’s your brooding face. Hockey Max is very loud. Brother Max goes quiet and stares into space like he’s figuring out how to bring about world peace. Spit it out.”

I didn’t answer right away. Watching them, something tight settled behind my ribs. Lucy laughed as she kicked higher. Lucas wiped mud on his shorts like it didn’t matter. I looked away first.

Finally, I let out a sigh. “I think I’m done screwing around.”

Grace turned her head and raised her eyebrows. “That’s cryptic. Screwing around with what? Your training? Your diet?”

“Girls,” I said. “The casual stuff. Hookups after games, one-night stands – all of it. I’m tired of it.”

Her eyebrows went even higher. “Wow. I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Yeah, well.” I rubbed the back of my neck. It felt strange to say it out loud. “Grace, I’m thirty now. Thirty. I don’t wanna wake up in ten years still doing the same crap. I want a family, something solid and real, like what I see in the yard.

Her face softened and the teasing was gone. She leaned in. “Max…”

“I mean it,” I cut in. “I know I’ve been that guy, the player, on and off the ice. It was fine for a while. But now? It feels empty. I keep thinking that maybe it’s time to build something that matters. Just like you did.”

She nodded, understanding the weight of my words. “So, why now? What’s changed?”

I looked down at my glass and watched a droplet of water roll across my thumb. “I can’t stop thinking about what I missed growing up. And I know that Lucy and Lucas will never have to worry about whether they are wanted. They won’t have to go through what I did. I want that for my own kids one day, but first, I need someone who makes me want to stay.

Grace didn’t say anything and just looked at me. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot, huh?”