Page 86 of His Forbidden Alliance

“And after you found out? What about then?”

I closed my eyes and thought. How was I supposed to sort out my real feelings from the fear that he’d lied to me about everything? “I wasn’t scared. I never really thought he’d move against me or the family.”

“Why?”

“Fuck, Dante, I can’t answer all these questions. This isn’t some university class.”

“You can find the answers. You can read Zach like a book. I know you can. What does your gut tell you? Not your fear or the pain you’re feeling.”

“I’m afraid.”

Dante ran a hand over my hair. “Love is scary. It’s okay to be afraid.”

“I’m more afraid of being the fool everyone thinks I am.”

“Rafe, nobody thinks⁠—”

I scowled at him. “Yes, they do.”

He shook his head as he caught my face in his hands. “No. We tease you. You’re our baby brother. And sometimes you act like an ass, but we don’t actually think… God, Rafe. We love you.”

“I know that, but you don’t think I’m capable.”

“I do. I think you’re capable of running the casino. I think you’re capable of falling in love. And I think you’re capable of figuring out what Zach’s real motive is. Aside from that, what does your gut tell you?”

I kept thinking about the way he’d pulled me away from the car. The way he was so tender. The way he was determined to take care of me. “Fuck. I think I screwed up. I need to go talk to him. But I also need to talk to Remington. There’s so much to do.”

Dante pulled me into a hug. “Go talk to Zach. Call me when you’re done. I’ll fill in Lorenzo and Remington.”

“No, that’s my job. You shouldn’t have to do things for me. I’m a grown-up.”

“Yes, you are, but I’m doing this because I care about you. You’d do it for me. You were scared for your life when you rescued me last year. You came to get me and made me walk out of Ivanov’s house when I didn’t think I could get off the floor.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you there to die, Dante.”

“I know. You’d never do that. And I’d never leave you to hurt either.”

We held each other tight for a few more seconds. When he let go of me, I brushed tears from my eyes and stood up.

“Go talk to him,” Dante said. “If he’s the one, you’ll figure it out.”

I hurried out the door, knowing if I let myself think too much, I’d talk myself out of what I needed to do.

33

ZACH

Icouldn’t believe how badly I’d fucked everything up with Rafe. I should have been listening more carefully for him to wake up. I should have gone outside to take the call or said I’d have to call back later, no matter how far up the chain the asshole went. Maria had called, warning me I was about to be interrogated, and I’d wanted to get it over with. Why the fuck didn’t I realize Rafe was standing there, that he was listening? I could’ve paused the call and explained that I had to say some things that weren’t true. Or I could have hung up. I was going to resign anyway.

There were so many ways I could’ve stopped this disaster from happening, but I was a fucking idiot, and now Rafe thought I was playing him the whole time. He thought none of our time together was real, that I saw him as no more than a fool who would give me what I wanted. He already thought no one appreciated what he was capable of, and instead of convincing him otherwise, I just proved his point.

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel as grief morphed into anger. I wanted to tear the world apart. I wanted to go back and tie Rafe to the bed until he believed me. I wanted to scream at everyone who made it impossible for us to be together. But more than anything, I was angry at myself. I could’ve told Rafe I loved him. Even after everything he’d heard, maybe it would’ve mattered. Or maybe not, but at least the words would’ve been out there.

I pulled into my apartment’s lot and cut the engine. I sat there for a few minutes, hardly even noticing the suffocating heat. Maybe I should stay there; there were worse ways to die than heatstroke.

But Ivanov still needed killing. No matter what Rafe said, I was going to help. And then I was going to do every fucking thing I could to win Rafe back. Because I loved him. I needed him.

I tilted my head against the seat and finally let my tears fall. I’d held them back during the drive, knowing that if I let go, I wasn’t going to be able to get myself home. I collapsed against the steering wheel and shook with sobs. I don’t know how long I sat there, but finally, between the heat and all the tears, I realized I could hardly breathe.