Page 41 of Coming Clean

“I know it’s okay in here—”he tapped his head, “—but when I try to actually tell someone, Ijust can’t.”

“Call Jeremy or go see himand say what you can, whatever feels right. Be honest andapologize. That’s the best you can do right now.”

Sabrina was right, butanything less than perfect wasn’t good enough for Connor.“I—”

“No excuses, you need tocall him tonight.”

Connor shook his head. Notthis soon. He wasn’t ready. When willyou ever be ready?

“The longer you wait, theharder it will be,” she said.

“Fine. You need anythingelse?” Connor was done talking about Jeremy.

Sabrina shook her head.“I’m going to eat a little more and then drag myself to bed.Hopefully I’ll be able to work tomorrow.”

“Don’t push too hard. Ireneand I can handle it; it’s just a move-out clean.”

“Okay, I’ll call you in themorning if I’m not up to it. It’s at two o’clock,right?”

Connor nodded.

“I should be fine by then.Now get out of here and call Jeremy.”

“All right,” Connor said,even though he wasn’t sure he could summon the courage. “Call me ifyou need me.”

Sabrina gave him anencouraging smile. “Will do.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Jeremy tossed back the restof his drink. Was that his third or fourth? By the way the dancefloor seemed to waver in front of him, probably his fourth. Davidhad agreed to forgo eighties night in favor of accompanying Jeremyto the only gay dance club in the area. Jeremy’d only gone ahandful of times. Normally, the idea of so many people blatantlyrubbing up against him made Jeremy seize up with horror.

But tonight he wanted toforget about Connor, and this seemed like the best place to dothat. He could drink and fuck with abandon. He could be the wild,young man he’d never been. He drained his drink and slammed hisglass down on the table.

“You going back out there?”David asked.

Jeremy nodded.

“You sure you don’t want togo home now?”

Since when was David theone who wanted to go home early? “No way. I’m not going homealone.”

David grabbed Jeremy’s arm,keeping him at the table. “You’re not alone; you haveme.”

“Are you gonna let me fuckyou?” Jeremy asked.

David wrinkled his face indisgust. “No, but—”

“You’re always telling meto loosen up. Why the hell are you bitching at me now?”

“I tease you aboutloosening up, but I like you the way you are. Are you sure this isa good idea?” David asked.

“It’s the best idea I’veever had.” Jeremy pulled free of David’s grasp and headed back intothe writhing crowd.

He slithered his waybetween a slender, dark-skinned man and a muscly boy who didn’tlook old enough to be there but had the most lickable arms Jeremy’dseen in a long time. That was saying a lot because Connor’s armswere… Fuck! Connor. No, don’t fuck Connor. Find someone here to fuck.

Jeremy worked his waycloser to the center of the crowd, trying to lose himself in thethump of the music and the slide of bodies against his. A guycaught Jeremy’s waist and ground against him. Jeremy didn’t evenbother looking to see who it was, he just let himself enjoy thesensation. A few seconds later, the man leaned down and yelled overthe music. “I’d love to think your ass was vibrating on its ownbecause that would be fucking awesome, but I think that’s yourphone.”

His words took a bit topenetrate the haze in Jeremy’s mind, but eventually, Jeremy reachedfor his phone. Connor’s name showed on the screen. He turned itoff.