Page 64 of Graciously His

And Nate has wanted me healthy from the start… unlike anyone else.

He has only ever told me the truth. And now I see it. More than that, I feel it.

“Yes,” I whisper, confirming what I’ve just figured out. Relief floods me, warm and red. “You’re my biggest, darkest heart.”

I hold Nate in the warm womb of the sauna. He wraps himself around me, naked and unaroused, his body shaking with grief I never knew flowed so deep, but which I’ve somehow drawn up to merge with my own. Together, I realise, we might be able to make something of this twisted situation. If we can get past our fucked up origins and unacceptable circumstances, maybe we actually can be what he has envisioned. Maybe we can continue his mother’s good works, and rescue one another.

Chapter 25

Nate

Over the next few days, Grace and I fall into an easy rhythm. Everything I’ve done to secure her as my wife has paid off. It helps that Eileen’s results have confirmed everything: the blood work shows that my Grace does indeed have Coeliac. The plan for recovery is a simple continuation of everything we’ve done so far: gluten free food, time outdoors, infrared sauna, and our new life together.

Now, at the close of the first week, I want to deepen our relationship as Grace’s recovery continues to build. I make us a light dinner and set up the bedroom. We’ve done virtually nothing mutual for days now, and I’m almost buzzing with need. Grace is on the last day of her fertile window and she’s so addicted to orgasms that she’s barely noticed how far I’ve stretched her. Today, we both get to find out.

“How was your walk with Mihi?” I ask as we finish our meal.

“She was telling me about lambing.” Grace stands up with her empty plate. She still likes to do the dishes every night, asserting it’s her job since I cook for us. “Apparently, she’ll deliver dozens of babies over the next while. I bet they’re like soft little clouds.”

“Not when they first come out.” I follow her into the kitchen. “They’re covered in fluids when they’re born, and they’re pretty shrieky.”

“Well,” she arches a brow, “I, for one, have a desperate need to cuddle babies, regardless of fluids or shrieks.”

She continues smiling as she loads the dishwasher.

I approach her from behind. “If you want to cuddle babies, I might be of some assistance. After all, we’re still within a certain time of the month.”

She stiffens. I trace one finger down her spine.

“That’s not even close to what I meant,” she says. I let her put distance between us, knowing I’m about to reel her back in.

“Then there’s no choice tonight. We’ll have to do it the fun way.”

“I’m tired,” Grace answers. Words I’ve respected each night this week, while we’ve focused on her healing. “Besides, I’m not ready for anything like that, Nate.”

I play dumb. “Like what?”

She regards me across the counter. “Like family planning or discussing babies or… what you’re hinting at.”

“I’ve got everything we need, regardless of the particulars.” I close my hand around hers and pull her towards the corridor. “We’ve spent this week healing you from the inside out, Grace. Now it’s time to do a few things from the outside in.”

That earns a reluctant laugh. “Why do you have to make that sound so filthy?”

I give her a wink over my shoulder. “Because it fucking is.”

“What are you planning, big heart?”

The pet name makes my stomach clench in the best way. It’s the first time she’s said it since our first time in the sauna, and I stop her right in the middle of the hallway to reward her with a kiss. She yields with a surprised moan, hands going into my hair. Tired or not, recovering from endless illness or not, my wife needs tending. Just as I do.

“Say it again,” I order, taking a handful of her hair and bending her head back.

She smiles, then bites her lip, refusing.

With a growl, I pull her into our bedroom. “Come see your new goodies.”

She glances at the dresser, where everything is laid out, then back at me. “I’ve never been into toys, Nate.”

“These are tools, not toys.”