Page 199 of Ashborne: Defiance

Luckily they’d already moved past me, and she followed, frowning as they disappeared around the corner from which I’d just emerged. Then they were gone.

I slumped back against a tree with relief, closing my eyes and making myself breathe.

Focus.

But, centering on my body only reminded me that I could sense her. Feel her in my chest. The tightness. The dark weight. All of it underlined with a glimmer of both fear and hope.

And I could feel her drawing away.

Sense her growing more distant with every step.

Something inside me twisted and another brick that shored up my heart, fell away.

A cold wind slipped behind the wall I’d built to protect myself. But with it, hope. Fresh air. Questions.

As instinctively as I’d slipped into the dark to hide from her, I bolted after her.

68. Your Best Purpose

SOUNDTRACK: Creep (in the style of Deftones) by Anthony Vincent

~ VOSKI ~

A few strides from reaching my friends, my courage failed me.

What was I doing? What would I say? But that twisting in my guts wouldn’t ease. And the hollow in my chest didn’t stop aching. I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t stay in the shadows. I had to see her. Had to meet eyes and ask—

“The queen is attending your wedding?” Grace asked Bren, awe and alarm mingled in her tone.

I’d just reached them, and stumbled on the word wedding, because that one sentence brought everything rushing back.

Noblewoman.

Betrothed to a foreign lord.

How the hell had I lost sight of that? I was a fucking spy. I didn’t forget holes in an ally’s defense.

Gil turned, surprised that I’d appeared, but used to me approaching without attention, so he just shook his head and huffed. “Sneaky bastard.”

I didn’t answer him, just shrugged, trying to keep my expression blank, though my pulse thundered. Jhoare tipped his chin at me, but the girls were talking. And my heart pounded in my skin.

Grace glanced over her shoulder. Her eyes widened a hair when she saw me, but she smiled. My chest grew hot.

As Bren babbled on about their plans for the wedding, and reassured Grace that the queen supported their union, my head spun.

I had mentioned her betrothal to Ronen when we landed, but with everything else, it had fallen to the wayside. I had to discuss it with Ronen. Fill Donavyn in. How the hell had I lost sight of such a critical piece of information.

Suddenly, my failings stacked up: Unable to sense Grace. Hard on Kham. Losing control and laying hands on Gil. Forgetting crucial obstacles…

Was I losing my skill? Losing my mind?

But since I’d only just joined my friends, if I ran off again, they’d be suspicious.

Grace kept glancing back at me, and my senses kicked in.

She was growing shaky again.

Which, when I looked around, made sense. It was nearly dark. Of course she’d be reminded of the events of the evening before as night descended.