Page 197 of Ashborne: Defiance

“She saw you in bed with Grace. You are many things, Voski, but a man who would take advantage of a drunk woman isn’t one of them. I’ve done my best to keep others from her loft to give you the privacy, but dear God, man. Haven’t we shown you that it doesn’t have to be this way anymore? Bren and I live our bond openly. I understand that’s new, but what makes you think we’d expect you to hide this? What makes you want to? The logistics will be tricky, but we’ll find a way—”

“I’m not hiding! I was helping Grace!”

Donavyn shook his head. “I don’t have time for this, so I will speak plainly, and pray that you come to your senses: I believe your bond with Grace is as potent and intense as mine with Bren. The question is, why you think you have to hide it? Because you saw the toll that secrecy took on us—and the freedom that comes with living openly. The queen is far more sympathetic now, and the men will get used to it.”

“No, you don’t understand—”

Donavyn put a hand up, and his head eased back, his expression thoughtful. “Hold. I hadn’t thought about… are you protecting her? Does she not feel the bond? She wasn’t bonded to Koa long before this happened, correct? And Koa’s wild—is there a problem there? A disconnect in some way?”

“No!” I protested. “That’s not… this isn’t… There is no bond!”

Donavyn shook his head, his jaw twitching. “Do you think I’m a fool?”

“Of course not!”

“You do understand that I’ve experienced this, and the compulsion of it? I know you like your solitude, but giving in to a divinely appointed mate is not a shame, Voski. You won’t be disciplined for it. God, if anyone understands that, it’s me!”

I couldn’t answer him. Couldn’t think. This barrage of assumption made my heart sing, and my guts heavy. Thoughts whirled, arguments. I couldn’t get a grasp of anything in my head.

“Voski,” Donavyn said quietly. “What’s going on?”

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Can you please tell me precisely what you experienced? What this bond you have feels like? For you?” I asked him shakily.

He huffed. “It’s everything,” he said simply. “She’s in my head. In my chest. Within me. A piece of me. It feels like my heart has taken a body—a beautiful, desirable body—and now walks on its own, outside of my chest,” he said. But not with the dark, frustrated tone I would have expected. He said the words warmly. “She is beauty. And fierce joy. Bolstering strength. She is my delight. While my heart walks outside of me, it is also full. That place behind my ribs where she resides, it glows. And she feels the same—all of it. She wants me as deeply as I want her, and she needs me with the same single-mindedness. This isn’t an imbalance, Voski. The bond is unity.”

Grace’s eyes widened. “Voski…” she whispered. “Why do I need you?”

I flinched and Donavyn paused, his sparkling gaze turning worried. “I’ve sent you into a den of men who would kill you in a breath and didn’t see you flinch like that. What’s happened, man? Why do you look afraid?”

Fear shrieked. I backed away, shaking my head. “That is not… I’ve never… that’s not what I’m experiencing,” I insisted. “That’s not what’s happening.”

Donavyn frowned harder. “So, you consummated, but the bond didn’t take?”

“No!” I snarled. “Why does everyone just assume—”

“Because I know the fucking drive—no pun intended—that happens when your dragons bond. And your dragons are bonded, yes?”

“Yes, but—”

“Was Koa in heat?”

“Yes, but we—”

“Then don’t tell me you felt nothing!”

“I didn’t feel nothing—but I don’t feel that!” I barked back at him.

Donavyn’s head snapped back and I remembered who I was speaking to. I swallowed hard and lifted my hands in surrender.

“Sir, I am sorry,” I breathed. “But, please, the things that are happening aren’t what you just described.”

“If there’s no bond, why did you disappear with her last night?”

I swallowed. To tell him? He’d be responsible for investigating, ensuring the death was warranted. And even though I was sure he’d find in her favor eventually, the questions it would raise, the impacts that could have on her when she was already struggling. I couldn’t risk it.

“I give you my word, I didn’t touch Grace last night,” I responded carefully. “Not like that. I helped her. As a brother. A mentor. I’ve been with her since the beginning and she trusts me. She’s confided in me. This is where I excel. I understand what she needs. She’s struggling, and she needed someone. Whatever lays between us because of our dragons, it isn’t that. Whatever is meant to be, the dragons will sort it out.”

Donavyn looked at me thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. “I’ll admit, we don’t know how this works for others, only how it worked for us. But, even Ronen’s observed that you watch her, Voski.”