Page 188 of Ashborne: Defiance

I swallowed hard. “Sometimes the only choice is them or you. Them or someone you love. And when that happens, when you’re the one who’s there, and you win… it isn’t wrong. God put you there. You won. You won for me.”

“He’s dead!” she said in the tiniest, ragged voice.

I nodded. “But you’re not. And neither am I.”

Her chin trembled and her brows pinched over her nose. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

“Me too.” The thought made me dizzy. Had a truer word ever been spoken? “But I’m here,” I said through numb lips. “You can rest. I’ll watch.”

She sucked in a desperate breath. Tears spilled over her lashes again. “Maybe he didn’t die? Maybe he had friends and—”

I shook my head. Her face crumpled and she tried to step away, but I held her.

“He’s dead, Grace. But you’re not. And neither am I. I’ve got you. You can let it go. I’ll watch. I won’t go anywhere. I’ll watch for you. I promise.”

The wail that poured out of her made me shiver. Below us, our dragons raised their voices, singing and calling, to cover her cries as I hushed her.

Her knees gave, but I caught her, swept her up and carried her to the narrow bed. I sat on it so my back was against the wall, and cradled her to me, tucked her head under my chin, and held her against my chest as she sobbed.

It was surreal. So, fucking surreal.

Because, as she fell apart, I said all the words that had haunted me since I was fifteen years old. The words I’d fought. The words I’d become convinced were nothing but honey-flavored lies.

When God puts you in that place, and you have to make the choice for someone else, you aren’t to blame when it’s your life or theirs.

He made you this way for a reason. You don’t have to be afraid of yourself.

Even though you know the shadows better now, you’ll still see the sun again.

Sleep.

I’ll watch out for you.

It will all feel better in the morning…

I said them. And I meant them.

But, did that mean they’d always been true?

65. Hear Me

SOUNDTRACK: Unbreakable by Nathan Wagner.

~ VOSKI ~

By the time her sobs turned to hiccups, then silence, Grace was spent. Limp in my arms, curled up like a child. I stroked her hair, but she gazed off into an unseen distance, her eyes bloodshot and glazed.

I frowned. ‘Kham? I don’t know how much to push.’

‘What do your senses suggest?’

‘That she’s in a dark place right now and it’s not a good place to dwell.’

It took a moment for him to respond. ‘Koa agrees. Push.’

I took a deep breath and sat up straight, pulling her up with me. Grace frowned, but followed me up, pulling herself off my lap and slipping her feet over the edge of the bed, blinking, frowning at the floor. She flinched when I moved. I kept a hand on her back, and my voice low.

“Let’s get you clean.”