Page 179 of Ashborne: Defiance

But with me? If I drank more?

If she offered herself?

If the dragons began to mate? Even at this distance, we’d feel them. After the exhilaration of the day, it would affect us even more.

I took a deep breath. That must be it. The dragons. I was feeling Kham’s need. I swallowed to wet the roof of my mouth, and kept my eyes down on the table.

That’s all it was. They were going to mate and it would suck, but then they’d be done, and I’d still be here with the others and that would keep me in check. Better than being alone and dwelling on the feelings. The thoughts. The memories.

Heat and need flared behind my navel, and against my will, one of those memories flared to life.

Her mouth, a honey-sweet heat that opened and welcomed me. Her heart, singing in the bond, just as open. And her legs—she arched backward over my arm, open to my touch, and grasping for me.

I shuddered with the battle between my flesh and my soul. As I explored the sweet, slick depths of her, her head fell back to offer her throat, and I reveled in the tangible evidence that she wanted me as deeply as I hungered for her.

But that thought threatened to snap the last leash I held on my need, and I shook again.

Then her precious, ragged voice broke through the pounding of my blood in my ears.

“You are… mine.”

I bolted to my feet, shaking. “I’ve got early patrol,” I offered, though no one had asked. Gil and Ronen both looked surprised, but the others tried to convince me to stay. I shook my head, eyes on the door.

Just a few feet. I could escape. And even if it was torment, I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Thank God she’d left the room. Thank God I hadn’t given in. Thank God.

I continued to say my farewells, shake my head, and brush off their grasping hands, urging them all to stay and have fun, that I’d call Kham to come pick me up.

I wouldn’t. I couldn’t be close to that well of need.

I needed away from it—in my dragon, and in Grace.

I finally got a hand on the doorknob and waved to them all, nodding, pushing it open and they gave up, returning their jibes to each other, just as I was about to step through. Then Grace appeared.

Standing in the doorway on the opposite wall. Her movement caught my eye, and I froze for half a second—long enough to see her face fall in that familiar misery that made my heart shrivel—then I blinked, ducked my head, and closed the door.

When I let the door close behind me and stepped away from the warm light of the tavern windows, I was torn. Half-relieved. Half-despairing.

But I felt the urge at the base of my spine. The questions rising in my head.

Did I really need to avoid her? Was it really such a bad idea to give in to the bond? Was it really such a risk?

I heard my own thoughts and spluttered with disbelief—and fear. Yes, the risk was real. Far too real. She had no idea…

So why wasn’t I moving?

I stood on the cobbled street outside, breathing the chill night air and staring up at the moon, which was high, but half-hidden behind clouds, gilding them in the dark night.

My body trembled. I shoved my hands in my pockets and dithered about which direction to walk. Because there was always the option not to go back to the Keep. I could, instead, find another way to sate the dragon’s desire.

I was in the city, after all. I hadn’t visited Veni for months. But I knew she’d welcome me.

Perhaps that was the answer? Perhaps what I needed was to douse the flames rising in my blood?

Tend the fire.

The words came unbidden, and I flinched, forcing my feet to turn, not toward the Keep, but in the opposite direction on the street. Veni was only a few streets further east. And it was only Second Day. She probably wasn’t working tonight. Oddly, my stomach opened in a pit that made me ill. Perhaps it wasn’t release I needed after all?