Page 112 of Ashborne: Defiance

Ronen stepped forward, reaching for my arm. “Voski… tell me.”

I hurriedly tugged my sleeves back down, shaking my head, keeping myself out of his grip. “It’s not—it’s nothing. They’re almost healed.”

“Who bound you? You didn’t mention that in the debrief. Does Donavyn know? Is this a covert—”

“No.” My jaw clenched and I met his gaze, keeping my tone as flat as I could. “No one bound me. I restrained myself.”

“What for?”

I sighed. “The dragon heat, Ro. I told you. I had to fight.”

His brows rose as he stared at me in shock. “Brother. I had no idea—”

“It’s fine. I’d forgotten they were even wounded.”

“But—”

“It’s fine, Ronen. I mean it. That has nothing to do with this.”

His brows shot higher. “Do you actually believe your own bullshit right now? Or have you forgotten you’re home and don’t have to lie anymore?”

I rolled my jaw. “I’m not bullshitting. I told you, I’m just tired and I’ve lost my patience for—”

“No, Voski. Something’s happened. When you’re ready, tell me what it is. You can be a cold bastard, sometimes even petty. But usually, you’re just disconnected. This is different. You’re reminding me of… well, you. But years ago. I thought you were past that, but if we need to talk about—”

“What?! No! I’m fine—”

“She’s obviously under your skin. This isn’t you. You’re a cunning bastard, but I haven’t seen you cruel for years. Did you seduce her while you were traveling and now you feel bad about it?”

“No!”

“Then what the fuck happened?”

I clenched both hands to fists to keep myself in check. “This mission was difficult. I just need some time alone. That’s it. Please, Ronen. That’s all I need.”

My squad leader stared at me, his face a blank mask. Then he shook his head. “Go,” he said. “You need to show up for her tomorrow, but then you can leave again,” he added quickly, raising his hands when I tensed. “I’ll keep you off patrol. Take a couple days. And when you’re ready, let’s talk. I know there’s more than you’re saying.”

I didn’t want to confirm that. I also didn’t want to lie. So, I just stood there.

The look he gave me was frustrated—and a little sad. “I’ll wait until you’re ready. Go.”

I broke like a rabbit and fled. Again.

I hadn’t run from anyone, or anything in years. But now, one small noblewoman had me running for my life, three times in a week.

38. Solitude

SOUNDTRACK: Fly on the Wall by Jutes

~ VOSKI ~

Usually, after that kind of travel, I’d soak in the narrow bath of the barracks for an hour, until the water cooled, before sleeping for twelve hours. But that fluttering panic in my chest drove me forward, forward, forward.

I bathed quickly, then ran to our squad room to gather a bag with clean leathers for the following day, and a seedcake for breakfast.

I wouldn’t go far. But far enough that I wouldn’t be walking back to the dining hall to eat in the morning.

I slipped through the barracks by shadows and back stairs, instinctively eluding any glimpse from passers, because I was still receiving shouts of greeting and welcome home everywhere I went, then darted into the night outside and jogged to the stable.