Page 6 of Shadowborne: Reckoning

Men. Drunk men. Men whose eyes would latch on me the moment I appeared and—

My breath stopped. I staggered over to the window and threw it open, letting the cool night air wash over me as my mouth surged with saliva and I swallowed and swallowed and swallowed back the nausea.

Thank God my stomach was empty. I should have been starving. Instead, I was grateful. If I’d had a full stomach, I would have lost the contents of it.

But then, I saw myself, hunched over a window sill, gasping at the air, tears in the corners of my eyes, and body shaking.

All because one fucking man showed up and said my name, and it was like nothing I’d done in the past few months mattered anymore.

One glance from those knowing eyes—the eyes that had seen me naked, seen me in the throes of an orgasm, seen me grasped and taken by other men—

“Oh, God.”

I clapped both hands to my mouth, clamping them there, shaking my head, teeth gritted.

I. Would. Not. Cry.

I wasn’t that girl anymore.

I’d say no.

I’d fight.

I did fight!

You fled. The voice hissed in the back of my mind, an accusing, derisive mingling of my father’s disdain, and Ruin’s contempt.

Ruin, snarling down at me, deep in the wood at the top of the launch hollow.

“Get the fuck out of here and never come back, Bren. Do you hear me?”

“Y-you said…” I swallowed the painful lump in my throat. It went down slowly, clawing at my flesh as it descended. “You s-said you wanted to m-marry me—”

“Are you fucking with me? You can’t honestly believe—”

“Y-you said—”

“And you opened your legs, just like I wanted… You’re a fucking lowborn farm girl and I’m a Furyknight.” His face turned red, the veins on his forehead popping as he grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Go home and hang yourself in the barn for all I care, just don’t ever come back here!”

I yanked myself back from the window as if pulling from his grasp and had to blink and breathe for a moment to remind myself it was a memory. He wasn’t here. Not now.

But he’s close. And he knows you’re near. God, that voice taunted me.

More footsteps on the floor outside the door. More staring at the wall, ears perked, barely breathing, until they descended to the rumble below.

I had to get out of here.

But I couldn’t. Donavyn would come. He’d promised. And Kgosi knew. Akhane may not have reached him with words, but she’d reached him in their senses. Kgosi knew. Had probably already found Akhane and—

The footsteps approached from the stairs this time. Heavy feet, moving quickly. A strong, confident man’s footsteps. Brisk and sure—and not hesitating at any door along the hallway… until it reached mine.

I turned to stare, heart leaping into my throat.

“Dona—”

The knob creaked when it turned—but caught as the lock stopped its progress.

Fear screamed and I braced, about to run back to the window, when a key slipped into the lock and a moment later it clicked.