Page 51 of Shadowborne: Reckoning

And so, I found myself sitting under a shade tree, while a child, and my dragon, did all the work.

It was an odd feeling to sit there and do nothing while sending others in to do the work, and one that turned my thoughts back to Bren.

She’d found her equilibrium again, and even faced Ruin down last night in the ballroom. I’d been immensely proud of her. But there was no denying that she was fragile in a way she hadn’t been when we arrived. Brittle since Ruin arrived.

On the one hand, I wasn’t surprised, and given how shockingly he’d entered our sphere, I applauded that she’d kept herself together enough to function in this shitshow of a court.

On the other… something simmered in her. And it wasn’t just fear.

A wound had reopened.

She hadn’t touched me since he’d arrived. And while I was happy to give her time, I feared that there was something much deeper here that we needed to face. Together.

‘Kgosi—’

‘Your mate was harmed in a way that stole from her, Donavyn. Until that space in her soul is refilled—with something healthy—she will remain unsteady.’

I frowned. ‘But how can it be refilled? How do I help her heal?’

Kgosi hesitated, measuring his words, which surprised me. ‘You are right to be patient. But, Akhane tells me she will need a new example. Not simple reassurance, because words cannot heal alone. She needs new experience to replace the old. Your language limits me,’ he added, frustrated. ‘It is, in essence, demonstrable rightness.’

I turned that over in my mind. We hit these moments sometimes where our language lacked while the dragon’s telepathic link, which shared experience and sensation, could offer a great deal more depth.

‘Rightness. You mean, the correct thing? The good?’

‘Yes.’

‘And ‘demonstrable.’ That’s the experience of it—the example?’

‘She needs to live it, Donavyn. It must be proven, not just to her mind—it must go beyond knowledge. She must experience the good and know its truth to her bones.’

I frowned, considering that, praying for wisdom. I wanted to help her. Wanted to be the demonstrable rightness in her life. But I’d gotten so many things wrong with her, I found myself wary of stepping forward in case I made it worse.

‘It is never the wrong thing to show love to your mate, Donavyn. In all its forms. Even when they do not invite it. Only… step carefully with her body. It is fear of the violation, not of you, that freezes her.’

I nodded. I knew that much. I’d seen her flinch for the first time in months during these days, and it broke my heart. But she’d also rushed into my arms to soothe the fear when it rose.

All was not wrong. But all was also not right.

As the sun rose to its zenith, I continued thinking and praying and speaking to Kgosi, but eventually, our attention had to turn to the dragons, and Benji.

Kgosi remained upwind, and distant enough from the dragons that they were unaware of his proximity. But he stayed in Benji’s range. And the picture the boy painted was a confusing one.

He approached the males first, but had little luck. They were suspicious, and though a few answered questions, none were forthcoming.

‘...He sees caution in them, and little more,’ Kgosi informed me with a sigh. ‘Either they have been warned against him, or their fears have overcome them in the intervening hours.’

But then, Benji, unwilling to admit defeat, walked over the hill in the direction Hanson had taken Bren, discovered the next little valley where the females were gathered, and found them more receptive.

He stayed an hour with them, and Kgosi chuckled that he was buoyant when the time came to leave. We didn’t want to stay out here too long, in case Ruin or Hanson, or anyone connected with them returned.

‘If the dragons won’t talk to him, can we trust them not to tell anyone else he’s been here?’ I asked Kgosi when he told me they were on the walk back to me.

‘It’s difficult to know. As I struggle to find your words to fit our senses, so he struggles to align their sensations with his language. It would be difficult for them to explain to another human. But to each other? Or another dragon? They will almost certainly speak of him.’

I didn’t like that if it meant Carnage would get wind of him. We were aided by Benji’s youth, and that he appeared with Hanson the first time. However, there was no way to be sure the dragons wouldn’t associate him with us, so I could only pray and hope.

Benji was hopping when they finally made it back to me at the top of the hill.