Page 23 of Shadowborne: Reckoning

So, we mounted the dragons. Benji rode in front of me and loved it, chattering with Kgosi who was remarkably patient given the night we’d had. Bren rode Akhane, but kept close enough to sustain the link. She was very quiet, but no longer trembling.

As we circled over the city, taking a long view of the Crown District, scanning for an errant dragon, or a possible ambush, the weight of what we were about to do pressed down on me until I felt certain Kgosi must feel it.

I had never felt more inadequate to a task.

Not the finding of a possible enemy and eradicating their power. But the facing of a man that I despised and treating him as a General would, rather than a wounded mate.

What if I was wrong? What if Ruin was coming for us, and we were walking into his trap? What if—

‘Your thoughts are dark tonight, Donavyn.’

‘Aren’t yours?’ I asked him honestly.

Kgosi rumbled. ‘I am uneasy, it’s true.’

‘I know we have things to discuss, but I need your eyes on this. Do you think Ruin lied about what he’s here to do?’

Kgosi was silent for a moment, then he sighed. ‘At least for now, the Creator doesn’t see fit to tell me any more than you know. I can only offer what I have before, Donavyn: Good men do bad things. Bad men do good things. Without being in his head, it’s impossible to know if he is a dark man who remains faithful to his kingdom’s purpose, or if his selfishness has overrun even his respect for the crown.’

I tried not to sneer. ‘I’m certain in his selfishness, he’d undermine anyone if it suited him. The question is, what does he believe serves him best: Being a traitor? Or turning himself into a hero? If he believes it’s the hero route, he’ll pursue this doggedly until he’s found the answers he’s looking for.’

‘You’re right,’ Kgosi sent.

‘Yet, that leaves us with no choice but to return to the castle and pray we can evade any traps—his, or the mole’s, or Fyrehold nobles working with either of them. The danger doesn’t decrease if he’s honest, it only comes from a different quarter.’

‘That is also true.’

I wished my dragon didn’t agree with me. For the first time in my career, I caught myself wishing Kgosi would caution me to abandon this mission.

I’d never wished to abandon a mission before.

‘Are we making a mistake, going back?’

‘I don’t believe so. If it were, the Creator would warn one of us, I’m certain. Something is amiss, of that there is no doubt. But I do not believe you’ve taken a wrong step in choosing to face this head-on.’

I was surprised how deeply relieved I felt at his reassurance.

Kgosi huffed. ‘You should offer yourself for my reassurance more often. You may find life less of a battle.’

I sent a rush of love to my dragon. I’d expected another lecture after I lost control on Ruin, or a warning about the honor I carried.

I should have remembered that Kgosi always led with love first.

‘I’ll try to remember to do that,’ I said, surprised by the humility and emotion I felt.

Kgosi rumbled again. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll remind you.’

It was the closest I’d come to smiling since this shitshow began.

‘Stay the course, Donavyn,’ Kgosi added a moment later. ‘I will pray for your safety, and I will remain close. If you or Bren find danger, flee. Akhane and I will aid you.’

I didn’t have words, so I just sent him all the gratitude and relief I felt, knowing he was there.

And prayed I’d have the strength and wisdom to help Bren through this the same way he helped me.

9. Carry Me Through

SOUNDTRACK: Fear by Nathan Wagner