Page 150 of Shadowborne: Reckoning

“No, but—”

“So, please, listen this time: You. Must. Go. Back.”

I swallowed. “Back to Fyrehold?”

She shook her head. “Back to the Academy. Back to training as a Furyknight. Back to…” she looked away, then dropped her voice. “Those who serve as you serve.” She gave me a pointed look.

The Shadowfang. I nodded, but chose my words carefully. “That… that was the plan.”

“Continue as you are. Speak of nothing about which you’ve spoken to me. Leave this to me.”

I frowned. “But—”

The queen shot to her feet and swept towards the door. “You have been a good and faithful servant, and I will commend you for it when this is done. But now you must leave the rest of this to me. Until I have gotten to the bottom of this, you give no indication of the truth.”

“But I have to go back to Donavyn!” I stammered. “I have to make sure he’s made it. That they’re safe!”

The queen whirled on me. “You will do no such thing. You will ensure everyone in this palace and the surrounding Keep knows that Donavyn is dead, along with his dragon. That was your plan, was it not?”

“Yes, but that was to get here. That was to get in front of you—”

“That is a good plan, and you’ll keep it. That is, if you still serve the crown?”

I stared at her. “I will not do anything that might make it easier for that… that… evil man to succeed in this venture.”

The queen’s lips turned up on one side in a menacing smile that made my blood run cold. “Then we are in alignment, and you will listen: My husband is no fool. He will already know that you have returned, though by some grace of God he may not know you’re with me. Regardless, it is imperative that the news he hears is the loss of Donavyn. I need to speak to him, you understand. I need to… hear what he has to say about this devastating blow to the kingdom.”

Of course she did. I hadn’t thought of that. I swallowed hard. “But you must be careful too. The message we intercepted said that no one was to share this with you. That means he’s working around you, or—”

“Trust me, Bren. I am well aware of what that means. Which is why you are returning to the Keep to maintain this façade, and leaving the king to me. You will take orders from me, and no one else in the castle. Should my husband, or any man other than your leader among the brotherhood in the shadows give you instruction, you say, yes sir, then you come to me personally. I will receive you. You understand? But until then, you give no hint that we have spoken, or if that is revealed, you were falling apart and unable to talk about your mate because you have hidden that from the Furyknights, hence why you asked for me. If anyone indicates they know you’ve visited me, that is what I will tell them—and you must do the same. Do you understand?”

I nodded reluctantly.

“Good. Then get out there. Be weak. Be emotional. Be useless. Make them believe they are dealing with a broken woman and her broken dragon, until you hear from me. And do not fear, Bren. My husband is no fool—and neither am I. Apparently, there are traitors in this palace. But your instincts were correct, I am not one of them.”

Then she opened the door so that I couldn’t speak again in case someone else heard, and she gestured towards the door for me to leave.

Unsettled, and anxious about Donavyn, I walked slowly out of the room, moving as if I struggled to keep my feet, holding my stomach and grimacing.

The queen snippily ordered one of the guards to usher me back to the Keep where those creatures would take care of me. Then she slammed the door at my back.

All I could do was pray that she hadn’t deceived me.

I asked the guard to take me to Terra, knowing she could help me get back to the dragons, and the guard was relieved not to have to leave the Palace.

It wasn’t until I was walking arm-in-arm with the worried healer—because my shakiness on my feet wasn’t entirely faked—that I realized I’d left the blanket in the queen’s room—with my knife, and the vial I’d been carrying since I left.

Terra diverted us back to her physician's chambers where my other knives remained with my dirty leathers, and she gave me another vial. “Pray to God you don’t need it,” she whispered. Then she handed me a waterskin too. “You need to drink. You’re dehydrated. If you want to feel better, that’s the fastest way to heal. Keep sipping at that until it’s gone, then refill it and start again.”

I took it, and stood there, under her eyes, drinking a few swallows, until she nodded and I was allowed to tie it to my belt.

“Let’s go,” she said grimly.

It wasn’t until we were on the road between the palace and the Keep, that I remembered the complicating factor that most of my things were at Donavyn’s apartment, and Terra believed I still lived in Kgosi’s stable.

“I need to take another message to the Officers,” I said casually. “I’ll be fine if you just leave me at their building—”

“Bren, I know about you and Donavyn,” she said quietly, eyeing the road ahead and checking over her shoulder as well. “Honestly, it was obvious to any woman who observed you two together. The obliviousness of men is astounding sometimes,” she said, rolling her eyes. “And, I know you’re tired, but you aren’t lost my mate devastated. No matter what you’ve said to the men. Don’t worry, I won’t unmask you. I’m smart enough to understand that this is important. As far as I’m concerned, all that’s happened this evening is that you arrived, completely destroyed, and needed women around you rather than men. I will let that implication lay heavy on anyone who asks. But that also means that if you need help… non-male help that is aware of the… complexities of your situation, you can call on me. Until you do, I will continue exactly as I always would.”