Page 90 of To All the Guys I Killed Before

This earns me another teasing shove. It’s the most relaxed I’ve ever seen her, and I want more. I want it all.

“What I mean is, it was good with Gomez, but this…” The humor disappears from her face as she presses her palm to my cheek. Just like last week, I lean into her touch. Then, it offered comfort when I was hurting. Now, it’s nothing but joy.

“I can’t believe this,” she says.

“You can’t.” I laugh softly. “It’s really you. You’re her.”

I kiss her again, slow and thorough, but reality’s starting to tiptoe back in, and I reluctantly ease out of her body. As I do, she gives a tiny sigh that’s almost as satisfying as the sight of my orgasm trickling down her thigh. I’d be worried about our lack of a condom if I didn’t know she’s got an IUD and had an all-clear checkup in June. I got myself screened then, too, with the same results. How do I tell her I’m creepily aware that what we just did hasn’t put her at risk?

I’m weighing my options, none of them good, when there’s a noise behind us, and we turn to see the dog creeping out from under the couch. He cautiously approaches us, shivering and spattered with blood. Rue gasps and reaches for him, but I’m faster, keeping hold of her with one arm and scooping him up with the other, cradling him to my chest.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Rue croons, stroking her fingers down his back and unclipping the bloody leash. “It’s all good now, dog.”

“Cosmo,” I murmur. “His name is Cosmo.”

I rub my chin over his head until he gives a little doggy sigh and relaxes into me. God, he’s small in my arms. I’ve never experienced anything like the emotion that burns through me when he closes his button eyes and tucks his head into the crook of my elbow. Winning Rue’s trust was one thing, but that happened over countless mailbox conversations and, as it turns out, three meetings in the houses of dead men. This tiny animal asked no questions, just came right to us even after we…

I turn to look at the body in the room with us. Rue’s eyes follow mine.

“I’ve never killed someone whose name I didn’t know,” she says softly.

“This isn’t how I do things either,” I reply.

My eyes fall on the dog next. I would’ve killed that man for the way he treated the warm creature in my arms. Both of the warm creatures in my arms. I gather them closer until Rue pulls away to peer at me.

“Are you okay? You cannot get a second concussion right now.”

“I’m fine.” I shake my head, but as I do, I privately admit I’m not. With the rush from killing and fucking receding, my shoulder aches from the man’s haymaker, my knee twinges from bashing it against the floor when I tackled him, and my head is fucking killing me, the concussion pain wrapping its tentacles around my brain yet again.

I give her the full Dr. Mohr smile to reassure her, hiding the wince caused by the lights in the room. “Don’t worry, neighbor girl. I know how to take a hit.”

“All evidence to the contrary—” She brushes her fingers over the healing bruise above my brow. “This was murder-related, wasn’t it?”

“Actually, no.” Before I can explain, I spot something small and white on the floor. “Oh god. Is that a tooth?”

I turn away to dry heave, and Rue laughs drily. “Really? The back of his skull is pulp and his face is a punching bag, and it’s that one bloody incisor that gets you?”

“Teeth belong in heads,” I say through shallow breaths.

It’s not actually the tooth, and it’s more than my concussion nausea, too, although that’s not helping. I’ve killed without flinching for years, but tonight, I had to hold perfectly still and trust that our panicked, silent plan wouldn’t get Rue killed. Now the danger’s passed, something had to give.

“My big, scary man.” She grins, rubbing slow, soothing circles on my back until my breathing slows. Eventually, she looks back at the scene and sighs. “This is a mess.”

“It is.” And that means one thing, unfortunately. I retrieve my phone from my pocket and tap a number, with Cosmo and Rue still cuddled into me like we’re not in the middle of the sloppiest murder I’ve ever committed.

“Who are you calling?”

“My fixer,” I say as it connects and Pell’s face fills the screen of the video call.

“Hey there, Dr. Mohr,” Pell drawls. Then his face splits into a wide grin when he catches sight of Rue. “And neighbor girl! You two crazy kids finally met for real. That makes me happy as a dead pig in sunshine.”

“You know Hugo?” Rue pushes away from me to sputter into the phone.

“You know Pell?” I sputter right back. Then it hits me in the sternum: Pell knew. All along, he knew who I shared a wall with. In fact, he probably knows her better than I do in some ways.

The thought has me narrowing my eyes at the man on the screen. I’ve never taken on the pretty-boy former Marine, but I’ve never had this kind of incentive before.

A tiny smile touches Pell’s lips, telling me he saw every half-formed threat that just crossed my face.