Page 35 of To All the Guys I Killed Before

Hugo

I’m woefully unprepared when the six-year-old slips her hand into mine.

“Promise?” she asks, squeezing my fingers with a surprisingly tight grip.

I squeeze back gently. Her little hand is so fucking fragile.

“Promise,” I reply. “It was an accident. Nothing bad like that will happen to you or your mom and dad.”

Brooklyn Ng and I have been sitting side by side on the outdoor rug covering her neighbor’s front porch for almost an hour now. Sometimes we talked. Other times, we practiced deep breathing. I even got her to laugh when I asked whether criss-cross applesauce works better with the right foot or the left foot on top.

But the lightness on her face dims again. “What about Shadow?” Her lower lip quivers, and I motion for her to take another deep breath in. She does, and I do it along with her. We exhale in unison.

“Nothing bad will happen to Shadow either.”

At least I hope not. If anything does, that’s on me as the person who killed the cat’s owner last night.

“Maybe Mom will let me keep her,” Brooklyn says hopefully.

I turn toward Rhonda Ng, who’s been standing at the edge of her yard, hugging herself tightly as she watches me work with her daughter. Brooklyn let herself into Aaron McEwan’s house to return his escaped cat this morning and found him dead in his living room recliner. That’s also on me.

When Rhonda gives me a vigorous nod, I say to Brooklyn, “Do you feel up to finding her so we can ask together?”

She bounces to her feet and clings to my hand as we walk down the porch steps. I use my height to block out as much of the police activity as possible. When we reach her own yard, Brooklyn lets go of me and flings herself into her mother’s arms, but it’s an excited hug, not a frantic koala one. “Mom, can we keep Shadow?”

“Of course we can, sweetheart.” She kisses her daughter’s shiny black hair and hands her off to her husband, then says, “Thank you. So, so much.”

“You’re, uh, you’re welcome.” I adjust my glasses, not having to fake how flustered I am by the gratitude in her eyes, especially given my culpability in the now-dried tears on Brooklyn’s cheeks. Helping steady her nervous system and co-regulate her emotions was the least that I could do.

“Brooklyn’s been sneaking into Aaron’s yard to feed Shadow treats when she’s in her cat patio.” Rhonda gestures toward her neighbor’s backyard. “Shadow must’ve escaped somehow, and when she turned up on our doorstep this morning, Brooklyn went next door and…”

I should’ve double-checked the latch when I put Shadow in the cat run as I left early this morning, but I was too distracted by how well Quinn’s pheromone-laced gloves were working. Still, it was better for her to be loose in the neighborhood than trapped inside with her owner last night.

I glance at Brooklyn, who’s talking animatedly with her dad on the Ngs’ front porch swing.

“She seems okay right now, but she may have a few nightmares and be a little more clingy over the next few days,” I say. “If it lasts longer than a couple of weeks, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or anyone in the area who specializes in working with children.”

I pass her my business card, which she reads carefully before pocketing it.

“Of course. And thank you again.” She pulls me into a fierce hug, and I stand there, stiffly accepting it, before she joins her family and they all head inside, Brooklyn happily waving at me over her dad’s shoulder.

“Bye, Hugo!”

I wave back. “Bye, Brooklyn! Say hi to Shadow for me.” And thank her for not scratching my eyes after I framed her for a murder.

With a satisfied nod, I turn and stop dead in my tracks.

“Well, hello there, Dr. Mohr.”

I thought I was awkward with Rhonda Ng just now? It’s nothing compared to me unexpectedly running into Rue Bellamy in the wild.

Not just the wild. One of my crime scenes.

“Ah, hi. H-hello, neighbor girl.” I stammer. “What brings you here?”

Rue’s raised brows speak to my stupidity before her mouth does. “My job.”

“Ha. Right.” It’s still her working hours, and there’s a body in the house behind us. When I arrived on the scene, I got so absorbed with Brooklyn that I just… forgot all about Rue. I didn’t think I was capable of that. It’s like the universe is punishing me for that lapse by dropping her in all her glorious, professionally competent glory right in my lap at the worst possible time.