Page 48 of Trust Fund Baby

“That’s because we basically were,” I said. “I hadn’t seen him in nearly a decade since everything went down.”

“What the hell did he do?” Hallie asked. “You looked at him that night like you could have murdered him where he was sitting.”

I dropped my fork onto the plate with a soft clink.

“He told my grandfather that I was going to NYU instead of Harvard,” I said.

Hallie blinked. “And?”

“I had to go to Harvard. That was the condition. The rule. I go to Harvard; I get the trust fund. Simple as that. My grandfather had it all lined up for me and my brother—pre-law, internships, a future at the firm. He used to brag about where we were going to school at dinners when we were kids, like it was already set in stone. But I didn’t want it. I never did.”

I took a sip of my wine, hoping it would keep my hands from shaking.

“I applied to NYU behind his back. I got in. Full scholarship. Photography program, as you know. And I told exactly one single person about it.”

Hallie went perfectly still, her dinner forgotten in her lap.

“Sebastian,” she whispered.

I nodded. “We told each other everything. He was going to go to Princeton. That was decided too. We’d even talked about how long the train ride was from New Jersey to New York. We were so excited about our future. I even thought we might start dating officially once we got to college. Long distance, sure. And that wouldn’t have been ideal, but I was so sure he was my person. So sure that we’d be able to make it work. But then one night changed everything, and the next thing I knew he was standing behind my grandfather in his office as he told me I would not be getting my trust fund anymore. That he knew what I was planning, and that if I went ahead, that was it. Disinherited.”

“What made him do it?” Hallie asked, looking completely scandalized.

“Until this weekend, I honestly did not know,” I admitted. “One night we went to a party, and he told me he needed to talk to me. I spent the entire night trying to find him, stumbling into the wrong rooms. I got wrapped up in a game of spin the bottle that I did not want to be playing. I never found Seb. Then two days later, he was in my grandfather’s study.”

“What did you find out this weekend?” Hallie’s eyes were glued to me. I wasn’t even sure if she’d blinked yet.

“That at the party, Sebastian had been looking for me while I was looking for him. When I’d ended up in the room they were playing spin the bottle, some random guy grabbed me and kissed me. I didn’t know it at the time, but Sebastian saw it happen. He’d been wanting to ask me to be his girlfriend that night, and after seeing me kiss someone else, he lost it.”

“That is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard,” Hallie said after she picked her jaw off the floor.

“He told my grandfather the next day,” I continued, voice wavering with emotion. “About NYU. About everything. That I’d applied without telling my family and got in. And I guess that was enough for my grandfather to cut me off just before my eighteenth birthday. All I had to do was wait till then, and I’d have got my trust fund, and I could have told him the truth. There’d have been nothing he could’ve done about it. That was my plan, anyway. Before Sebastian ruined everything.”

Hallie’s lips parted like she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words fast enough. I couldn’t blame her.

“I lost my trust, my college funding, and my spot in my family. But what hurt the most was that I’d lost the one person I thought would’ve defended me when it mattered. All in forty-eight hours.”

I stared at my pasta.

“He never explained anything to me. Just disappeared out of my life. While I was left to pick up the pieces and support myself. I know that the life I grew up with is the kind of life people dream of. I am well aware of the position that gave me. But I have never loved myself more than when I didn’t have all of that to fall back on. I love the life I’ve built for myself. And I’m so grateful that I met you along the way, Hals.”

Hallie gave me a soft, reassuring smile.

“Sebastian explained his reasoning this weekend and apologized,” I continued. “I always wished for an apology, but it didn’t feel as good as I thought it might. But he took ownership of making stupid decisions when he was a kid, even if those decisions completely fucked up my life.”

Hallie was completely still beside me.

“I hated him for it,” I said. “I hated him for all of it. For standing behind my grandfather. For never calling. For throwing away what we had without even a fight.”

“You thought he betrayed you,” she said carefully.

“He did betray me,” I corrected her. “But not everything is black and white. A part of me might always love Sebastian, and after airing everything out this weekend, I let him back in. Foolishly.”

We sat in silence for a long moment, the television still paused on the opening scene of our show.

“And now?” Hallie finally asked.

“Well, before yesterday, I would have told you I didn’t know what to think. He’d told me he hadn’t meant to ruin everything. That he was jealous of the guy kissing me. That he thought I’d chosen someone else and he wanted to do something that would hurt me as much as I’d hurt him. He said he was stupid and young and heartbroken and didn’t understand what it would cost me.”