Page 94 of Italy and Forever

‘I remember those days,’ Vivi commented. She gasped when she reached the art portrait. ‘That is stunning. Oh my. Ah, and this is the man himself? Did you take this?’

Ginny nodded, her gaze clinging to the photo again.

‘Dad said he was very reserved,’ Vivi commented.

‘He is.’ But he talked to me in the car and in the meadow – in bed. He just never mentioned he was leaving. It seemed unbearable now, that she didn’t know why he’d kept it from her.

The sliding door to the garden rattled open and Greg poked his head in. ‘Want to help me put the chestnuts on the fire? Then we can eat outside if you like. It’s just warm enough with a blanket.’

After shedding so many tears, Ginny found the deep calm in her blood and the warm fire brought an unexpected sense of well-being. When she reflected on it, that sense had been growing ever since she’d realised she’d misunderstood his behaviour on that last day.

He hadn’t callously thrown away their time together. Her panicked hurt had scuppered what could have been their last chance to put their relationship into some kind of context in their lives.

And he’d reached out. She appreciated what it would have cost him.

‘Ginny,’ her dad said after they’d finished eating their steak burgers and salad and Vivi had taken the plates back into the kitchen, ‘you don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to, but Rhys mentioned something you’d said to him about when Mum died. He didn’t go into detail, but I hope you feel like you can talk to me about this.’

It was strange to realise how much attention Rhys had paid, even back when she’d been convinced he didn’t like her.

‘You don’t have to worry about hurting me,’ Greg continued. ‘I miss her too, you know. Still.’

That was all it took to set off Ginny’s tears again. ‘I didn’t realise,’ she blubbered. ‘I thought you had to shut it out to be happy. I thought I was the only one⁠—’

His arm came around her. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t notice how much this still bothered you. I thought you were young enough that maybe the grief wasn’t as bad.’

‘I always feel like a piece of myself is missing. Always.’

The firepit and her parents’ garden were little more than a blur of watery colour, but she saw clearly for perhaps the first time in her life. She’d started to see it during the wedding. A relationship wasn’t filling a space in the soul where something was missing. Everyone’s soul was battered and pockmarked and repairing it was the work of time, gentleness and patience.

‘A piece of our family will always be missing, sweetheart,’ her father murmured.

‘But you married Vivi so quickly,’ Ginny said, daring to use her stepmother’s given name to utter the reproach she knew was childish, but it needed saying anyway. ‘There are no photos of Mum on the walls. It was like you wrote over her in our lives when, for most of my teenage years, all I wanted was her.’

‘Oh, my precious girl,’ was all her father said at first. ‘I’m so sorry. That’s not what I meant to do. I should have realised. I know the way you love. I should have guessed how deeply you still feel all of this.’

‘I’m not sure I realised myself,’ she said gently.

‘Well, I’m your father. I still should have realised.’ He paused, staring into the coals. ‘I agonised over it, you know. I was worried my feelings for Vivi were just compensating for the loss of your mum. But I decided to trust it was real and Elspeth responded so well to her – I thought you did too.’

‘Turns out I have hidden depths,’ Ginny said with a half-hearted laugh.

Her father went still. She could feel his curious glance at her. ‘I think I saw those depths today – in his photos.’

Her hair stood on end and she bit her lip against the fresh urge to cry. ‘Yeah,’ she responded inadequately, but she was done waxing lyrical about souls.

‘I think he loves you.’

That knocked her back into the present. She was the one who was supposed to have hopes like that, but she hadn’t dared, when she loved him too much and the stakes were too high. ‘What?’

‘I thought you might have known that.’

‘No. Why would I know that? He doesn’t tell me anything.’ That wasn’t quite true. ‘He didn’t tell me he was leaving.’

‘Ah, is that why you don’t want to see him?’

‘No,’ she said again, this time quiet and miserable. ‘I do want to see him.’ That much was clear, now she understood his behaviour at the castle and he’d sent her these photos. She had to see him. ‘It was a misunderstanding. He’s been through a lot and I don’t think he can love me. But even if it’s just goodbye, I do want to see him.’

Greg nodded solemnly. ‘Okay, then. It’s good you’ve worked that out now since he’s leaving tomorrow night and everything.’