Page 86 of Italy and Forever

Maybe it was best if she just went home without seeing him – maybe ever again. The thought made her ankles wobble, which was unfortunate timing because she was walking across the gravel in the courtyard of the castle with an unwieldy box of wedding decorations.

As she headed for the archway towards the exit, a familiar figure appeared, equipped as always with his camera bag, and she froze, trying – and failing – to decide how to react. He seemed to be alone. They could have this out. She could close things off once and for all. Although maybe she’d just forgive him immediately for not telling her and they could get back to kissing for as long as they had.

She pulled herself desperately together as he kept coming, his gaze on the ground – and walked right past her with nothing more than a twitch of an awkward smile.

Her heart plummeted as a desperate sigh deflated her. It really was all over. She’d thought for a moment that she’d meant something to him, but she’d just been a pastime at a wedding.

He’d tolerated her admirably for the week and, she flattered herself, the sex had been worth it for him. It hadn’t quite been worth it for her – not worth this sinking, drowning sense of loss for something she’d never even had.

She made it out to the Panda and dumped the box in the boot. Flinging herself into the driver’s seat, she had to pause for another cry before she was steady enough to shove the car into reverse and make her way out of the car park and back to the hotel.

Channelling her inner black ops agent, she hugged the walls and managed to avoid everyone on her way to her room. She didn’t know who knew what, but she suspected the news of how much of a patsy she’d been over Rhys would spread soon enough and she wanted to be over the crying by then.

But when she reached her door, there was a little parcel waiting for her: a paper bag full of chestnuts. Scrawled on the bag was a brief note:

I thought you could roast these with your family.

Quickly taking them inside and dropping the bag with her little pile of nuts by the door, she picked up one and stared at it as her nose stung and she started the stupid sad cycle all over again. He didn’t even want to keep their chestnuts. He’d left her with all of the things because they weren’t as important to him as they’d been to her, their moments together.

She piled the rest of the nuts into the bag and tucked them into her suitcase. She would roast them. She’d throw them on the fire one at a time and watch them angrily spit and crackle.

A knock at the door made her freeze and ping upright like a folding bed.

‘Ginny?’

Shit, it was Kira. She probably couldn’t ignore Kira, but she gave it a go for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut as though that could turn her invisible or inaudible at least.

‘Ginny, what’s the matter? Why aren’t you coming to the door? I saw you go in here a minute ago.’

Darn, she wasn’t as good a black ops agent as she’d thought. She dragged herself to her feet and reached for the door-handle, pausing to freak out when she caught sight of her appearance in the mirror on the back of the door.

Her face was blotchy and full of shadows, her hair was a mess, only poorly disguised by the scarf she’d tied around her head, which was also coming loose in wild folds of floral silk. But despite freaking out, she couldn’t bring herself to care what she looked like, beyond the questions she’d have to answer.

She wrenched the door open and sighed dramatically.

Not just Kira waited on the other side, but Toni was there as well, both of them blinking in surprise. Reshma peeked out from behind them and she was the one to snap into action, pushing through and ushering Ginny back into the room.

‘How about you sit down?’

Ginny collapsed onto the bed.

‘Oh my God, Sophie was right,’ Toni mumbled.

‘Was she ever,’ Kira replied through her teeth.

‘I can see this part is going to be very dramatic for you,’ Reshma grumbled, ‘but there’s no Academy Award for heartbreak – or if there is, you don’t win it anyway.’

‘I don’t? You aren’t suggesting one of you should win it? Kira and Toni are practically engaged, you’re happily situationshipped and it’s only me who’s completely misread a person’s feelings for me – again!’

‘Honestly, Reshma,’ Kira said, ‘this is the self-pity stage. Let her indulge. One of us just needs to stay to make sure she doesn’t hyperventilate with all the sighing.’

‘You can’t comment, Kira. When you were miserable over Mattia he turned up in your climbing class and made everything all right again! Rhys is leaving the country! I mean, the continent! He’s leaving for good and he didn’t tell me and it’s all my fault, even though I’m furious at him and he didn’t even say hello to me, after everything⁠—’

Kira blinked. ‘Wait, what?’

‘He’s leaving! Didn’t you know either? He’s so bloody reserved, that man.’

‘I didn’t know,’ she mumbled. ‘And I also didn’t know there was a reason for you to care. I thought it was Laurie.’