Page 67 of Italy and Forever

‘Sophie, really, this is your wedding. I don’t want you to think I need anything. What I have realised is that I can’t expect romance to solve anything for me. I can’t commit to anyone until I’ve worked through some stuff I’ve been ignoring and allowing to fester. Plus, I mean, I’d have to be a lot more than just naïve to fall for him.’

Her heart pounded a telltale rhythm that she really didn’t like. It was the ‘I’m-lying-to-myself’ melody, with a backbeat of panic when she imagined Rhys saying goodbye to her. No. She wasn’t going to fall into those habits.

‘Okay, sweetie.’

Ginny had the disturbing feeling that Sophie knew the battle waging in her head.

‘You might be having a bit of a crisis right now, but I know you. You’re built to love in a way the rest of us truly admire. You love all of us, even when we tease you and ask you to arrange elaborate weddings.’

‘It’s my privilege to arrange an elaborate wedding for you,’ Ginny assured her. ‘I only hope it’s everything you wanted.’

‘But, you know, people change. I think it’s great you’re trying to be circumspect, but give it some time. You never know how you two will change each other.’

Ginny rubbed a hand over her mouth, scared Sophie had a point. Rhys had already changed her. She’d already let him. The change would stay with her for far longer than Rhys himself would and at least, no matter what Sophie said, she knew better than to hope he would change.

She wasn’t strong enough for this. She shook her head, not sure what she should say or whether she could get any words out at all.

‘Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to upset you. I should have stayed out of it, right? Andreas told me to stay out of it.’

‘Andreas knows too?’

Sophie winced. ‘Sorry, he’s so good at being quiet and it makes me talk.’

‘I know how that feels,’ Ginny mumbled in reply.

‘Oof,’ Sophie said suddenly, her hand moving to her stomach.

‘Everything okay?’ Ginny asked in alarm.

Sophie nodded. ‘She seems to know the exact spot to kick me for maximum effect.’ She peered at Ginny. ‘Do you want to feel it?’

‘Oh yeah.’

Sophie gestured to the spot just beneath her ribcage and Ginny placed her fingers there, waiting for the flutter that would reveal the miracle of the new person growing, already with independent movement, with almost everything she needed for an entire life.

Instead of the flutter of gentle wings, Ginny felt a hard poke, raising Sophie’s skin like something out of a horror film.

‘Yikes!’

‘Not how you expected it?’ Sophie asked.

Ginny shook her head.

‘It’s so strange to think that when all the leaves have fallen, she could arrive any time and there’ll be one more family member, although I have to get her out first.’

‘Yeah, I don’t want to know about that yet.’

‘I’m pretty sure she’s been reordering my brain already,’ Sophie said with a sigh. ‘Apparently pregnancy does that. It actually alters your brain chemistry and primes you for survival.’

‘Hormones and adrenaline have a lot to answer for,’ Ginny agreed grimly. ‘I think that’s my trouble. Maybe climbing has changed my brain chemistry and given me the urge to procreate with the wrong person, although, don’t worry, I’m being safe.’

‘Good for you, although I couldn’t judge you either way,’ Sophie said ruefully. Rubbing her stomach, she drooped slowly. ‘You know Andreas wasn’t ready for this baby. I still feel bad for how it all happened. I should have been more careful with the malaria tablets and all the timing.’

‘And how many times have you told him that?’

‘Several,’ Sophie replied drily. ‘But I’ll probably always wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t got pregnant – how long it would have taken us to get married.’

‘It is a bit of a red flag,’ Ginny joked, waiting for Sophie to respond, but she didn’t share the joke the way Ginny expected.